And, because messing with their little heads just never gets old, here’s an Easter post from a year ago…
How to Terrorize Small Children
I committed an Easter crime once. I was persuaded to dress up in a bunny costume for my daughter’s preschool class. The teacher opened the door and in I teetered, six-plus feet (counting the ears) of Easter excitement. For about a nanosecond, there was total silence while I held up my basket of plastic eggs. Then eighteen mouths were screaming for eighteen mothers, thirty-six eyes were filling with tears, and seventy-two tiny arms and legs were churning toward the door. We’re not even going to discuss what happened in eighteen little pairs of undies as I single-handedly drove the roomful of preschoolers ballistic with terror.
Maybe if that whole child-soldier/ kidnapping/ warlord gig doesn’t work out for him, Joseph Kony could find fulfillment dressing up as a giant bunny and appearing before unsuspecting preschoolers. Looking back, I realize that if I’d gone into work one day to find an eleven-foot tall rabbit heading for me – with no prior memo announcing, “At 10:15AM today, staff will be terrorized by long-eared rodents twice your size,” – I would probably not have been nearly as nice about it as those preschoolers. After all, not one of them pressed charges or pulled a weapon even though it was hunting season. In SW Virginia. I’m just lucky I didn’t end up on the hood of someone’s car, tied down next to Bambi.
It’s not as if I didn’t know better. My kids have an unbroken string of bad experiences with costume-clad adults. The first time we did the Mouse, Donald Duck waddled up to us. He was reaching out to Child #2 when she hauled off and planted him a solid one straight to his – duckness. [more…]
Heidi Del Muro said:
This is too funny! I also label my children- Unit #1, Unit #2, and Unit #3! I love the story about frightening preschool children, torment can work wonders when it comes to disciplining three, four, and five year olds. Happy Easter!
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barbtaub said:
A mom after my own heart!
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sknicholls said:
Happy Easter Barb! Poor children but, somehow, I find myself sympathizing with you more than them 😉
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barbtaub said:
All sympathy is (unearned) but gratefully accepted! Still, I’m waiting to see some blog post from a child who was traumatized by my bunnied self…
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Bastet said:
I laughed my butt off last year and renewed the exercise this year…I can just see the eleven foot rodent walking into an office unannounced…or maybe a bank (now that could make a cool story!) By the way, I came across this peeps stuff on a bloggers site once, he opens his post with Hello Peeps and thought it was just one of his things…since I’ve seen several other people come out with it…I wouldn’t ask anyone but you (she says as her face turns red) but, is that an American thing and what ever is it supposed to mean?
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barbtaub said:
I don’t know if it’s an American thing, but “peeps” just means my people. Or, especially around Easter, it can refer to those scary marshmallow shapes that you buy, let get really old and rubbery, and often make into disturbing dioramas.
http://twincities.upickem.net/engine/Details.aspx?p=A&c=52696&s=18382171&i=1
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Bastet said:
OMG that link is creepy I do so agree. I’m going to have to google peeps in a jargon dictionary, I don’t think it’s an Easter thing…and why ever would one write peeps to save one letter…I’m presuming it’s supposed to be cute. Thanks for your answer…maybe I could turn that diorama into a weird Easter story…
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susielindau said:
Happy Easter!
Love the caption on the photo and your story. I can just imagine the kids becoming terrified…
Thanks for bringing this to the party!
Have fun clicking and DANCING!
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barbtaub said:
Yeah, there’s nothing that says Happy Easter like 18 screaming preschoolers. Good times…
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amyshojai said:
LOL! A friend of mine still hates clowns, after a terror-field experience as a child. And Harvey the Pukka at least had the good taste to stay invisible most of the time.
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barbtaub said:
Well, yeah. Clowns. How are they even a thing? Thanks for stopping by. And BTW — your blog is amaaaaazing!
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jbw0123 said:
Oh, this is funny! Reminds me of the time I took my then-two-year-old daughter in a princess costume trick or treating. At the first house a guy came to the door in a monster mask, and she started sobbing. Funny, she refused to wear princess clothing from then on. Some women become feminists because of inequality, but others …
Hope you had a better Easter this year (visiting from Susie Lindau’s blog)
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barbtaub said:
The former princess probably just wanted to have her arms and legs free to take care of the next monster she saw. Excellent preparation for middle school. Thanks for coming over from Susie’s party. We did indeed have a lovely Sunday here and I mean that in the most literal sense. The sun came out. You have to understand, I moved to Glasgow months ago, and I was getting pretty seriously convinced that I would never see the sun again. Now, in about an hour, everything was blooming, Scots were kilting, and the parks are crammed with people. Now I’m ready for some serious partying!
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jbw0123 said:
I hear you about the weather! I live in the Pacific Northwest in the US, very similar weather from December to July. When that sun comes out, we are HAPPY. And speaking of legs free, enjoy those kilts!
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The Regular Guy NYC said:
And we wonder why so many of our kids end up on therapy and on Ritalin!
Happy Easter!
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cravesadventure said:
Oh My Goodness!!! I have to say I chuckled and laughed a bit reading this:) Poor unsuspecting children – I think it is the whole size difference that makes it a bit scary. Plus some of those costumes are just plain scary too! At least it is good blog fodder and the children can talk about it well into their 80’s. Happy Day!
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barbtaub said:
Not to mention the years of ongoing therapy…
Thanks so much for stopping by!
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