Over the recent holidays, the Hobbit House was full to bursting with visiting children and spouses. We had plenty of bubbly, an overachieving “solstice bush” sheltering Mt. Giftwrap (doing our part to ensure that Amazon ends the year securely in the financial black), Dr. Who Holiday Special queued up—and no cold water. No kidding. Two of the kids left.
Scottish Water came to check out the situation. I was expecting some high tech equipment to pinpoint the leaks. Instead, three cheerful men took turns listening to what looked like a wood plug mounted at the end of a metal rod. The fantastic bit was that it worked! The not-so-fantastic bit was that it pinpointed the leak as being solidly on the part that’s the homeowner’s responsibility. On a holiday. We broke out the buckets to…er…prime the toilets. The rest of the kids left.
I used a pot to mark the spot over the leak on the brick patio. Plumbers were duly summoned and—exactly where the pipe-whisperers had predicted—they dug to find a pipe burst in three places. They replaced the pipe, reassembled the patio, and left.
An hour later, we discovered two things. Thing one was that there was no water in either bathroom (including toilets) and thing two was that the only working tap was in the kitchen, where the (surprisingly excellent) pressure produced a flood of water that looked like this:
This time we left too.
They say you can’t go back, but that’s just what we did. We headed back down to our former little Village in England just in time for New Year’s Eve.
[A digression: All my life, I’ve wanted to go to an honest-to-confetti New Year’s Eve bash.
Back in my university days, I did come close to the New Year’s Eve party when a friend of my sister invited me to a Major Social Event—balloons, live big band, valet parking—at the family’s Lake Michigan shorefront estate on Chicago’s north side. By promising to care for his geriatric cats when he went on Spring Break, I managed to get the one other person on the planet who didn’t have a New Year’s Eve date to agree to come with me.
I never saw the party, but I did spend the next few days with the cats while my date went in for an emergency broken-jawectomy after slipping on the ice as we walked up to the front door of the party. My mother said that I at least owed him marriage after that, but I felt the cats were payment enough. Besides, I think a true gentleman would have refused to get into that ambulance until we’d counted down to midnight and had some champagne.
Sally got champagne, confetti, and a kiss at midnight. And she never had to take care of Harry’s cats…
End of digression…]
Down in England at our former village, the Village Hall needs a new kitchen. Actually, it’s needed one for the past fifty years. At least. As a fundraiser (and one week before the existing kitchen is demolished) they put on the New Year’s Eve party to end all parties—black-tie, live Big Band, catered dinner BUT with the puddings (desserts, to us Americans) supplied by an army of overachieving Village home chefs, everyone linking arms at midnight to bellow out Auld Lang Syne, and a midnight casino (run by the vicar, of course).
It was all so amazing that we (almost) didn’t mind returning to the waterless Hobbit House. Another visit from a compassionate plumber (at holiday rates, of course) saw final repairs to a ball-valve on the tank.
With the big New Year’s Party crossed off my bucket list, and flushed with optimism (sorry, no—I just couldn’t resist), we’re ready to face the new year. Happy 2015 to all!
Cathy said:
Glad you had a great New Year’s Eve – sounds and looks (if that’s the actual room?) fabulous. Can’t beat those parties 🙂
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barbtaub said:
Yes, that’s the actual room. There was some concern that the badminton players (next up on the room reservation roster) would be annoyed by the hanging stars, and that the add-on top that turned the snooker table into the puddings buffet would need to be cleared away. But it was a very short discussion…
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Karen said:
I’m absolutely amazed that you were able to find a plumber, even at holiday rates. That’s the true Christmas miracle!
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barbtaub said:
Given how long he was here on New Year’s Day at holiday rates, I’d say that the plumber thought it was Christmas all over again!
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Jinxie G said:
Ah, I’ve done the block parties and band parties. Got roofied at one of them. That was not a fun New Year’s. LOL These days I’m content to stay home and enjoy a glass of champagne. =)
Glad you have water again. Happy New Year!
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barbtaub said:
I have to admit, the day after was not pretty. We realized that we’re WAY too old for the drinking and the partying, so we’ll have to get by on the memories of this one for many years to come!
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maryrosenblum said:
Dowsing for leaks AND on a holiday? We’re not in Kansas anymore, for sure! Snicker. But your water did look a bit like our well water on a bad day… Happy New Year!
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barbtaub said:
Given those water-finder poles, I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if the next technology out of the bag was a forked stick dowser. But I have to say that their methods seemed to work.
How often does your well water look like that? [reminder to self: drink bottled when visiting Mary…]
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Kassandra Lamb said:
Another laugh-out-loud post, Barb. I do envy your sense of humor. Happy New Year!!
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barbtaub said:
It’s always a surprise when these things sound funny in the retells. My sense of humor was conspicuously absent during the dry spell.
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ajcapper said:
I almost feel bad when I laugh at your misfortunes. But, laugh I must.
We went out, for the first time in years, to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Ended up at a table full of young’uns. They thought we were a hoot. They got drunk and we gave them a ride home.
Next year we’re renting movies.
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barbtaub said:
The hub was flying to the States in the morning, so we had to get up at 0:dark-obscenity and haul our alcohol-infused selves back up to Scotland. Pledging the ENTIRE way that next year it’s back to rental movies, and a toast with (0%-alcohol) bubbly at 10:00PM. As befits our extreme-geezer status…
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tric said:
Sounds like a typical holiday disaster com brilliant celebration. I loved the New Year digression which perfectly set the scene for the village hall ‘ball’.
Happy New year to you and your family.
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barbtaub said:
It was so much fun! But the next day was SO not fun. Amanda is right—in future years we rent movies and reminisce about the wonderful time we had that year the water went out…
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maryrosenblum said:
Ah, you’re safe from my water, Barb, I use a Brita filter for the stuff we drink. And it’s just iron. My lifetime of anemia is cured! However I will not guarantee that you are safe from my throw-my-ball demanding Aussies!
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barbtaub said:
Iron, huh. Nope, I checked with the judges. They say to stick with the bottled stuff, and get my iron the way God intended: through those horsepill-sized geezer vitamins.
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jkbisker said:
Your celebrations sound so fun and joyful! Thanks for sharing. 😉 Happy New Year!
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barbtaub said:
Thanks! Here’s wishing you a fabulous 2015. May your taps always run clear!
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lisabuiecollard said:
That was so funny, especially the way you wrote it. Well done! Felt like I was there. Have been, with plumbing problems like that too so can relate! Thanks so much for sharing this. It was a fun read. And thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting. Happy New Year!
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markbialczak said:
Happy New Year, Barb. May your water run clear. 🙂 Gosh that sounds so wrong. ❤
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barbtaub said:
Thanks Mark! Happy New Year and…er…that water thing… to you too!
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