I’m in a total guddle.
See, I might live in Scotland, but this is what I live here for. I’ve gone along all these years without once knowing that I’m in a total guddle [confused mess] , let alone owning it like Glasgowdragonfly does.
Since we moved up here from England just as I was starting to get a handle on the whole separated by a common language thing, I’ve started to document a new vocabulary. Luckily, I have an expert tutor in the form of the receptionist at a nearby medical office. I’m completely smitten because she says och and aye and every noun is modified by wee. When I call, I always have a pencil ready to write down everything she says so I can look up translations when we hang up. Take, for example, today’s conversation:
Me: Do you have a minute?
Her: Och weel aye ah cuid blether fur a few mair minutes. Tis bin sae dreich ‘n’ wi’ th’ smirr t’ wee bits wur drookit by th’ time we git tae wirk, sae a’ body ‘ere is a bawherr bit crabbit ‘n’it juist feels barry tae hae someone crakin’ tae blether tae… [**Yes I could talk for a few more minutes. It’s been such bad weather and with the rain our boots were soaked by the time we got to work, so everyone here is a little bit grumpy and it just feels wonderful to have someone nice to talk to…]
Me: Um… so about that prescription?
Her: Och, na bother! Wull juist be a wee minute ’til t’doctor’s had a wee keek. Mynd ye, th’ wee affice wis hoachin’ this mornin’, bit we hud that wee lot cleared by dinner. Och, then. That’s ye done. [**It’s ready.]
Why, you may well ask, am I working so hard at this? Simple. I just want to be able to actually read Seumas Gallacher’s posts. I’m a wee bit close…just have to watch a few more Billy Connolly videos like this one (NSFW but you’ll hurt yourself laughing) or maybe Kevin Bridges like the one below.
Rosie Amber said:
Good Luck with that then, I don’t understand half of it.
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barbtaub said:
The really scary part? I’m starting to understand it…
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Sue Vincent said:
LOL… and then there’s Yorkshire 😉
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barbtaub said:
Well, I practiced my Yorkshire by watching every single episode of All Creatures Great and Small. But then when I went to York, I realized there were some four-letter words essential to every single sentence that somehow were left out of the TV show…
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Sue Vincent said:
LOL… as well as an awful lot of vowels 🙂
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Sue Vincent said:
Mind, the Beeb don’t do reyt Yorkshire… this is reyt Yorkshire as my great grandparents spoke it, though with an accent that comes from the Ainsty 🙂
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barbtaub said:
After three years in Durham, this sounds like home! [sniff! I just really want to go to Bettys for tea…]
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Sue Vincent said:
I’ll meet you there ( but I make better scones 🙂 )
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barbtaub said:
Wait…you make those fat Yorkshire scones? Can I send you a plane ticket? Train?
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Sue Vincent said:
I can send you a recipe 🙂 But I’m never averse to running north 🙂
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barbtaub said:
Recipe is good. The visit is MUCH better. Guest bed awaits, with Small Dog welcome. Oh and um…there just might be some flour and clotted cream in the kitchen. In case you get bored.
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Sue Vincent said:
Recipe already on its way 🙂
..aand thank you! 🙂
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olganm said:
I suspect it will take the brain quite a bit to get used to it. But then you can always publish a dictionary for the rest of us!
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barbtaub said:
The truth is that you only really need to know one word that starts with F to understand 90% of what’s said in Glasgow…
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Seumas Gallacher said:
…ach aye. weil, Lassie, ye’re getting the hing ‘o it… ferr do’s “:):)
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barbtaub said:
Well, your blog is my graduate-levels. I’ll get there!
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newromanticspress said:
Reblogged this on Lizzie Lamb and commented:
Very funny !!
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barbtaub said:
Thanks so much! I’m glad you like it. (Notice I haven’t actually tried to speak it myself yet…)
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newromanticspress said:
I was burn in Scotland and can speak in broad Scots when required!
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barbtaub said:
I should have guessed that after the fantastic dialog in Tall Dark and Kilted (which, BTW, I absolutely loved!)
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newromanticspress said:
Thanks Barb, more in bk 3 – out soon 💖
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barbtaub said:
I hope you’ll keep me in mind if you’re looking for reviewers. That book was fun!
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newromanticspress said:
Barbara – deal!!
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glasgowdragonfly said:
Fair chuffed to get a wee mention Barb! Fair gang ye well 😉
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barbtaub said:
So while you’re learning your next new language, I’ll be perfecting my Weegie-speak.
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Seumas Gallacher said:
Reblogged this on Seumas Gallacher and commented:
…thick end of the Weegie (Scots’ll understand that)… from the LUVLY Barb Taub… enjoy… Master Gallacher is available at a modest fee for translation services…
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Seumas Gallacher said:
re-blogged ……thick end of the Weegie (Scots’ll understand that)… from the LUVLY Barb Taub… enjoy… Master Gallacher is available at a modest fee for translation services…:)
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barbtaub said:
Thanks so much for the reblog! Next time you’re in town, I’ll get football tickets and you can translate. (I’d say I’ll buy the beer, but I’ve been around enough Weegie’s now to know better…)
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Georgia Rose said:
Hilarious Barb, as always!! It always astounds me that there are so many differences in the way we speak here when we are such a tiny island. I was brought up on Billy Connolly so I can tune into that one quite well and shall go and check out Seumas’ blog!!
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Seumas Gallacher said:
..you’re most welcome, m’Lady, Georgia… we can speak proper Queen’s English too y’know :):)LOL
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barbtaub said:
Georgia, if it’s your first visit to Seumas’ blog, you’re in for a HUGE treat! Have fun. (Check out the video of Seumas ‘borrowing’ Sean Connery’s kilt.)
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Georgia Rose said:
Well I am following it now but missed out on that little treasure 😉 I shall go back now to check it out and hang the writing…who needs that when there’s kilt action to be had!
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Catherine Johnson (@CathM_Johnson) said:
That was fun reading Scottish. Great translation. I’ve never heard that comedian before. He’s funny! Being in Canada now I really miss Peter Kay and apparently he has a new video out. I need to find out how to get one that plays in Canada.
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barbtaub said:
You’re probably just a MUCH nicer person than me and wouldn’t be listening to such things. Thanks for the lovely comment! Did you end up in Canada via Scotland?
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Cathy said:
Like Georgia says, the number of dialects is quite mind boggling. I have trouble with broad Somerset, never mind Yorkshire or Scots!
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barbtaub said:
And then there’s Geordie, which I couldn’t make out at all.
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Cathy said:
Absolutely, I forgot that one!
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markbialczak said:
How do you say WTF in localspeak, Barb? God bless ye, me fren. Or, in New York ese, Holy Crap, how in the world?
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barbtaub said:
I’m pretty sure it goes along the lines of “fookin eee-jit”
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markbialczak said:
Oh, like, “hey, asswipe.”
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Elyse said:
My husband went to university inEdinburgh. We have Scottish friends. They are lovely people. Warm, welcoming. But I have no idea what they’re talking about. Ever.
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barbtaub said:
The first time I was in Glasgow, I asked the cab driver if he spoke English. The rest of the trip was not pleasant.
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Elyse said:
Ouch!
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Suzanne Joshii said:
I enjoyed that. 🙂
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barbtaub said:
Thank you!
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Suzanne Joshii said:
That was great. I had no idea there was such a difference. 🙂
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Juliet Nubel said:
I’m homesick Barb! Or should I say hamesick? I’m a born and bred Glaswegian but now living in the west of France of all places. Oh, the things we do for love. But I miss you Glasgow. Give it a big hug from me please. And if you bump into Billy Connelly anytime soon, can you tell him he’s fandabidozi please? Thanks!
Love your writing style Barb.
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