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When he was two, we tried to block his view of any appliances we were using. Just to slow him down. That was also the year the police came to the door, responding to “our” 911 call. We heard giggling from his crib, where he was holed up with the portable phone.
When he was three, we had to replace the microwave after he vaporized a bunch of bananas. (And don’t even ask me about the time he backed the car into traffic…)
When he was four, I came home to find that not one but three outlets in the kitchen were now smoking black holes. (His father claims he didn’t hear a thing.)
When he was six, he wrote a letter (which I mailed) to the Pentagon demanding an explanation for the rule that six-year-olds couldn’t have their own flamethrowers. Wisely, the Pentagon declined to answer.
When he was eight, I decided TV was not a good influence and got rid of the cable and the antenna. He built a system to “borrow” the neighbor’s signal, which he and his sisters trotted out every time I left the house.
To everyone’s astonishment, he’s lived long enough to become a (reasonably) responsible dues-paying member of society. Who knew?
But some things never change, as his Mother’s Day Card clearly indicates…
Cathy said:
That’s a brilliant Mother’s Day card 😀 Hope you had a good one.
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barbtaub said:
Thanks! It was a fabulous day (although a bit soggy, of course).
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jayayyer said:
Awesome account of bringing up a naughty and ingenious son, Barb. Nathan deserved the best Mom and he got her…just love the Mother’s Day card.
jaya
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barbtaub said:
Awwwww! (Thanks!)
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claywatkins said:
There is nothing wrong about being curious or borderline mischievous – both are good qualities – especially in a boy. Great card. Happy Mother’s Day, a day late.
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barbtaub said:
I guess it all depends on your definition of “borderline”. But he hasn’t (yet) been arrested and (most) injuries were superficial. So yeah… good stuff!
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Georgia Rose said:
Oh what a wonderful post, so much reminds me of my own son and his antics. I remember those days, many of them, when I was just relieved to get to the end of it and find that he was still alive. Keeping him so has been my main objective in his upbringing. Thanks for the reminder on this Monday morning Barb, it’s given me a smile 🙂
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barbtaub said:
I heard his sister once ask him, “What do you want to be, if they let you live?” So yes, I think every day is pretty much a gift!
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Paul said:
So, how does it feel to be the Mother of an Evil genius?
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barbtaub said:
Just call me Ma Frankenstein!
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A Woman's Wisdom said:
Hehe! I just love that card, Barb 🙂
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barbtaub said:
Thanks! I can just hear him saying each of those lines.
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Sue Vincent said:
Love this, Barb! Sounds like you did a pretty good job there 😀
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barbtaub said:
Well, my kids would probably say they turned out great in spite of me… I can’t really argue with that.
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Sue Vincent said:
Funny, I have a feeling mine might well say the same 🙂
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Elena said:
I have 2 boys. My cousin had 3 girls before she had a boy. I remember her calling me one morning. “Boys are different!” Yep.
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barbtaub said:
True story: when my son was delivered (after I’d already had two girls) the doctor apologized. He said nobody should have their boy after the girls. Because thinking you know what to expect—and being wrong about it—is much harder than having no idea what’s coming.
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Elena said:
Ha! My cousin had the perfect little girls so she found out that you can’t even have potted plants in house.
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barbtaub said:
Or, apparently, appliances. Or anything that works with a button, dial, or key.
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ajcapper said:
Both my two step-sons looked absolutely angelic when I first met them. Sigh.
It always amazed me what they could do with tin foil. And clothes hangers.
Great post, Barb, and love the card.
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barbtaub said:
And I’ll bet they continued to look completely angelic while doing it too. I suspect it’s a survival adaptation.
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marjma2014 said:
Ha ha, this had me chortling, what a mischievous son you’ve got! Life will never get boring by the sound of it!
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Rose Edmunds (@RoseEdmunds) said:
How lovely – reminds me so much of my son. He is now an experimental physicist – the ideal occupation for someone who can’t stop fiddling with things!
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elainemansfield said:
My two sons are in their forties. Somehow they survived tearing apart brand new electronic treasures (he owns a computer business) and breaking legs while skateboarding (he’s a dj in San Francisco). They both have health insurance and good jobs. My mother used to say, “Don’t worry too much until the police knock at the door.” I guess I’ve succeeded since that hasn’t happened since they were in high school. I’m jealous of your Mother’s Day card. It’s the best.
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