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They just don’t get the Fourth of July here in the UK. Go figure.

My friend Hamish invited me to join him for his archery club’s annual competition on Sunday in which they shoot the American. He is planning to dress as a Confederate officer for the event, but all are encouraged to come in “outrageous” American dress.

Hamish Robertson of Glasgow Archers at last year's shooting of the American.

Hamish Robertson of Glasgow Archers at last year’s shooting of the American.

Sadly—because I can think of a number of Americans who would make excellent targets—he explained that “The American” refers to a form of competition in which arrows are shot at specified distances (2 ½ dozen at 60 yds, 2 ½ dozen at 50 yds, and 2 ½ dozen at 40 yds).

For more information, see http://www.glasgowarchers.co.uk/

For more information, see http://www.glasgowarchers.co.uk/

It’s probably just as well that I won’t be able to attend. This is Glasgow after all, so I think it’s pretty likely there will be copious amounts of alcoholic incentive. I wouldn’t want to run into any well-lubricated champion archers who might still hold a grudge about that whole hiding behind trees—not to mention shooting at those guys wearing red coats and marching in a straight line—we Americans went in for back in 1776.

My visiting daughter and I were discussing the upcoming holiday and the Snickerdoodles she’d brought.

“Aren’t you an American?” Emma, who was ringing up our groceries, asked.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“There’s one thing about America that I’ve always wanted to know.”

“No, I don’t think the moon landings were actually fakes, but I can’t say the same about Kim Kardashian’s boobs, most presidential candidates, and people who claim they actually enjoy the taste of tofu.”

“No.” She blinked at me. “What I really wanted to know is what Snickerdoodles are. Do they come from Snickers Bars?”

“Snickerdoodles, ” I informed her, “are our sacred birthright as god-bless-Americans, and as such are not usually allowed to leave the US. Snickers, on the other hand, have made it to Glasgow where they are, of course, likely to end up deep-fried.”

Most of the time, Snickerdoodles are cinnamon-sugar coated rounds of buttery goodness, but as an essential part of the Fourth of July festivities, Americans often give in to the unfortunate urge to substitute red, white. and blue sugar for the coatings. Sadly, this isn’t even close to being the worst culinary crime we Americans commit in the name of Fourth of July dessertage. Jello goes over to the dark side, but it is cakes which seem to bring out a particularly sadistic streak in amateur holiday bakers.

...because really, what says patriotic like eating a red, white, and/or blue penis?

…because really, what says patriotic like eating a red, white, and/or blue penis?

What you throw up after eating penis cake

What you throw up after eating penis cake

Since the closest I’ll come to fireworks this Fourth of July is choosing a category for Rosie Amber’s Friday Five Challenge, I obviously went for “Fourth of July”. And there it was—Red Hot and BOOM! A Sizzling Hot Collection of Stories from the Red Hot Authors—helpfully surrounded by little fireworks icons. It’s good to be American!

Rosie Amber’s Friday Five challenge is to take ONLY FIVE MINUTES to browse an unfamiliar category and select a book based solely on the cover art.

Book blurb:

11705192_698688043571030_2192567563604340956_nThe Red Hot Authors present Red Hot & BOOM! A Sizzling Hot Collection of Stories
Celebrate Independence Day with Ten Books from Authors who will Heat Your Summer Nights:

  • ALL HAT NO CATTLE by Randi Alexander – Deep in cowboy country for a rodeo, Harper Johansen is looking for a cowboy of her own, but roughneck Shaw Donahue needs to convince her to value a man for more than his cattle.
  • FOR LIBERTY by Rene Folsom – While deployed, his mission classified, the heartfelt letters Maximus writes are the only bits of communication Liberty receives while he is away. His letters are a constant reminder of why he chooses to fight: For Liberty.
  • COME WITH ME by Sable Hunter – Lacy has never experienced the big ‘O’. This July 4th will have more explosions than fireworks in the sky. Jake will prove to Lacy he can be all she needs – in bed and out.
  • WHITE CHOCOLATE CHERRY by Graylin Rane – When a widowed news reporter receives notice she’ll receive a Candy Man, she’s nervous. Can she open her heart and her home to another man?
  • SCORIN’ ON THE FOURTH OF JULY by Cassandra Carr – When professional hockey player Mikael meets USA Olympic goaltender Terri, both her beauty and skill attract him. But Terri might have to leave town to keep playing and their blossoming love put on ice.
  • ONE LAST RODEO by Michel Prince – Mistakes happen when we’re young, now this rodeo pickup man will have one chance to fix it with his ex. She ran to the city to make it big on the news, but he’ll bring this country girl home.
  • STARS AND SPARKS by Christin Lovell – One curvy journalist. One ex-marine. Two people attempting to find their new place in this world, but, sometimes, it’s not about finding a place; it’s about finding a person. And there’s nothing but stars and sparks between these two.
  • FIRECRACKER! by Desiree Holt – She’s hot as a pistol in the rodeo ring, leaving the competition n ashes. But can this firecracker bring the same explosive emotion to a night with two hot, hot, hot men?
  • SPARKS FLY by Mari Carr – I Do is the easy part. Happily ever after? Not so much. Over the Fourth of July weekend, Evan vows he’ll reignite his wife, Annie’s passion with his own brand of fireworks.
  • RETURN TO HER by Alexandra O’Hurley – Writhing passion quickly turns into more when friends become lovers. Their surrender comes days before an ill-timed deployment, where the two are quickly ripped apart. Will fate prevent this soldier from returning to her?

BUY LINKS:

AMAZON US | AMAZON UK

Book Title: Red Hot and BOOM! A Sizzling Hot Collection of Stories from the Red Hot Authors

Price: $.99/£.99

Reviews: 7 for a total of 4.6 out of 5 stars 

Pages: 755

My Analysis: There aren’t many reviews for this new release, but it seems to be doing very well in a number of Amazon categories. And, as one reviewer puts it, “This set has something for everyone, military, sports, college, cowboys, ménage.” At about .13 pennies/page, you can’t complain about the cost. And, while it might not light up the night skies, at least it’s got to be safer for a Yankee than being surrounded by costumed Scots out to shoot an American.

BUY or PASS:   BUY

IMG_2700

NOTE: in the real world, you have to own the cookie fix. Lose the shortening and just use butter.

(**And, just for Emma, here is our Snickerdoodle recipe, from my mother’s 1956 Betty Crocker’s Picture Cook Book, McGraw-Hill, New York). Happy Fourth!

Here is Rosie’s Friday Five Challenge. It only took five minutes and a couple more to write up, and was a ton of fun. I hope you’ll consider joining in. All Rosie asks is that you link back to her original post here so we can all join in viewing your challenge results.

AUTHORS – You often only have seconds to get a reader to buy your book, is your book cover and book bio up to it?

Rosie Amber's Friday Five Challenge. Get yourself a cuppa and give yourself 5 minutes.

Rosie Amber’s Friday Five Challenge. Get yourself a cuppa and give yourself 5 minutes.

My Friday Five Challenge is this….. IN ONLY FIVE MINUTES….

  1. Go to any online book supplier,
  2. Randomly choose a category,
  3. Speed through the book covers, choose one which has instantly appealed to your eye,
  4. Read the book Bio/ Description for this book, and any other details.
  5. If there are reviews, check out a couple,
  6. Make an instant decision, would you BUY or PASS?
  7. I’ll be back next week with another Friday Five Challenge, do feel free to join in.