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You call THAT an insult?

Switched at birth

…Or do they just use the same hairdresser?

In the recent Republican presidential candidate debates, The Donald replied to journalist Megyn Kelly’s inquiry into his history of comments calling women disgusting and comparing them to fat pigs, dogs, and animals, by interrupting her to claim that “it was just Rosie O’Donnell.” Then he proceeded to label everyone else who might make similar complaints as part of what’s wrong with America. “I’ve been challenged by so many people, and I don’t frankly have time for total political correctness. And to be honest with you, this country doesn’t have time either.”

Yesterday, prominent University of Edinburgh academic (emeritus) Jill Stephenson, tweeted about new SNP MP Mhairi Black, the youngest member of the House of Commons—”Have you seen/heard the appalling harridan Mhairi Black? Foul mouthed little slut.”

Seriously? Those are the best insults prominent politicians and academics can come up with? It’s not like their predecessors haven’t left a rich tradition of spectacular insults to inspire them:

  • In 1899, U.S. House Speaker Thomas Bracket Reed (R-Maine) observed of his opponents, “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
  • Benjamin Disraeli on how to tell the difference between a misfortune and a calamity—”If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity.”
  • Almost all quotes Churchillian, including “He would make a drum out of the skin of his own mother in order to sound his own praises” or in response to MP Bessie Braddock’s complaints that he was drunk, “My dear you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.”

Yes, current politicians and political commenters need help, and I have just the right amount of time to devote to it—the five minutes of Rosie Amber’s Friday Five Challenge.

I started my five-minute timer, put “insults” into the Amazon search, and didn’t even get beyond page one of the 1,241 results. Time used so far: 18 seconds. The cover was clean, the title straightforward. The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition: Comebacks, Taunts, and Effronteries (Snark Series).

Now, I’m not saying that presidential candidates and political commenters need to read this particular book. If they don’t like it, there are always 1,240 others after all. But if they don’t brush up on their insults, it’s going to be a long, long political season.

You fill a much needed gap. –from The Snark Handbook, Insult Edition by Lawrence Dorfman

Rosie Amber’s Friday Five challenge is to take ONLY FIVE MINUTES to browse an unfamiliar category and select a book based solely on the cover art.

Book blurb:

518aiIaqfKL._SX355_BO1,204,203,200_Author Lawrence Dorfman claims: “I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore.” In this latest incarnation of his bestselling series, Dorfman is in delicious form, dishing it out without any real consequences. The sharp-witted buyer (and that’s you, my friend) may be wondering right about now: “Hey, how is this book any different from the first? That was full of insults, too.” Yes, but these insults are different, and the author’s retorts and taunts are so much more vitriolic than in the previous book.

Readers will find more material to actually use in day-to-day life, including streamlined instructions on when and how to mock your peers; how to use retorts with your spouse and children; and how our late, great ancestors used insults throughout history. This is not a mere collection of quotations. Dorfman speaks directly to his audience, serving as teacher, ringleader, and historian. After all, not all insults are snarky, and not all snark is insulting. It takes a certain genius to define and navigate the fine line between idiotic commentary and intelligent snark, a genius that has been isolated and packaged with aplomb in the new Snark Handbook: Insult Edition.

BUY LINKS:

AMAZON US | AMAZON UK

My Analysis: The simple cover stood out, but the reviews were a bit mixed. There were complaints about typos in the kindle edition (which doesn’t seem to be available now). But the sample quotes listed had me snorting: 

  • I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
  • Don’t piss me off today, I’m running out of places to hide bodies.
  • Do you want people to accept you as you are … or do you want them to like you?
  • I’d like to give you a going-away present . . . but you have to do your part.
  • Ordinarily he is insane. But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid.
  • A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.
  • Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
  • It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.

And then there was my personal favorite, “You fill a much-needed gap.” (Think about it—SO many places that will be useful!) So, if only for the soothing bathroom read during the upcoming presidential election season, I’d grab a used copy.

BUY or PASS:   BUY

Here is Rosie’s Friday Five Challenge. It only took five minutes and a couple more to write up, and was a ton of fun. I hope you’ll consider joining in. All Rosie asks is that you link back to her original post here so we can all join in viewing your challenge results.

AUTHORS – You often only have seconds to get a reader to buy your book, is your book cover and book bio up to it?

Rosie Amber's Friday Five Challenge. Get yourself a cuppa and give yourself 5 minutes.

Rosie Amber’s Friday Five Challenge. Get yourself a cuppa and give yourself 5 minutes.

My Friday Five Challenge is this….. IN ONLY FIVE MINUTES….

  1. Go to any online book supplier,
  2. Randomly choose a category,
  3. Speed through the book covers, choose one which has instantly appealed to your eye,
  4. Read the book Bio/ Description for this book, and any other details.
  5. If there are reviews, check out a couple,
  6. Make an instant decision, would you BUY or PASS?
  7. I’ll be back next week with another Friday Five Challenge, do feel free to join in.