The brilliant Robin Rivera over at the always-entertaining writeonsisters.com just did a post on 5 Unique and Practical Gifts for Writers. I urge my fellow writers to print it out and casually leave it lying around places where those in charge of your gift buying are most likely to stumble across it—say, glued to their wallet, car keys, computer screen, forehead, or that stash of Ben & Jerry’s Joy to the Swirled that they think you don’t know is hidden under that old box of breaded okra cutlets.
But what gifts should writers give to other writers? Practical gifts are out, of course, because if writers were practical…well, they certainly wouldn’t be writers. [see:It’s (still) not personal… It’s the (writing) business.] Luckily, there are a lot of absolutely senseless gifts to gladden the heart of any writer.
For example:
Still stuck? Maybe you should try the Literary Gift Company, where I hit the mother lode of senseless but somehow irresistibly charming writer presents. You can browse by author, genre, or item. What writer could resist a stocking filled with any of the following necessities of life?
Under Jane Austen there is—as is only right!—a plethora of choices. (See, I’m a writer. So I get to toss out words like plethora. Hopefully, that will convince someone who knows me to get me some of this writer stuff.) My favorites include the following:
Not sold on Jane Austen? (Are you sure you’re a writer? Really?) Okay, how about one of these other gifts by genre?
Of course, there is a fabulous gift that every writer dreams of but may be too shy to ask for themselves. It’s the one thing that every single person they know could do for them. It’s easy, and (in these days of below-subsistence-level book pricing) it’s even cheap. You can buy their book, read it, and then—here comes the gift part—write a review. Just tick off some stars, say a few words about almost anything at all (but the book is a good place to start) and you’re done. You don’t have to write a gift tag or wrap anything. Believe me, your writer will think it’s the best present you could ever give. (Unless you happen to be on the nominating committee for the Booker prize, of course. In that case, you might want to go with the Writer’s Block plunger and toilet set.)
What’s the best gift for writers you’ve ever given or received?
Gordon Rottman said:
Tasteless, absolutely tasteless (wink, wink).
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barbtaub said:
Why thank you Gordon. From you, that’s a compliment.
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tric said:
Love all these. I especially like the bookends and the bracelet even if I’m not a fan of sci fi.
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barbtaub said:
I’m sure you could find something for your favorite genre. How about an Alice in Wonderland bracelet? Or French Chef?
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Mary Smith said:
Oh, now I’m going to waste hours on those websites instead of actually getting organised for Christmas, which this week I have finally understood (something to do with the arrival of cards every morning in the post ) is going to happen.
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barbtaub said:
Technically, you don’t have to be totally ready until the kids come downstairs on Christmas morning. And if the “kids” are in their 20+s, that won’t happen until close till noon. PLENTY of time…
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Mary Smith said:
Your theory is sound but this year we’re going away for Christmas so I’ve four days less than I would usually have!
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barbtaub said:
We’re going away for Christmas, so my theory is that I don’t have to do ANYTHING!
I’ll just send buckets of money to Amazon, and then board the plane as they wrap and deliver everything. And with the crap weather Glasgow’s been serving up, that sounds pretty good right now.
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Mary Smith said:
I never thought about getting Amazon to do the wrapping and delivering – clever. I’m still browsing that literary gift site – someone has to think about my wants!
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barbtaub said:
I love the way you prioritize!
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macjam47 said:
Me too, Mary.
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sknicholls said:
I actually do like the bracelet. I like dangling things with sparkles.
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barbtaub said:
Oh, me too! (There’s one for Day of the Dead which is kind of calling my name…)
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rileyjfroud said:
Aw those babygros are fab! I might get one for my little niece for Christmas!
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barbtaub said:
Depending on how close you are (or want to be) to the new niece’s parents, you might also consider the “Modest Proposal” baby-gro which proclaims: “A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout.”
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rileyjfroud said:
haha! That’s brilliant! My brother would find that hilarious 😀
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Sue Vincent said:
That might get me out of babysitting 🙂
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barbtaub said:
Oh sure… like any of us believe for one second that you want to “get out” of babysitting!
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Sue Vincent said:
Yeah, well… shhh… 😉
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Ronnie Peace said:
Ha. Funny.
I drew up an invite for our Baby Shower – which was a Baby BBQ – so I drew a cartoon to accurately depict this.
Suffice to say the guests were not impressed when all that was on the BBQ was sausage (and not from a baby…
(Interested can look here http://uwannapeaceome.blogspot.com.au/2015/02/5-totally-awesome-and-absent-ideas-for.html?m=1 )
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barbtaub said:
You and your friends have a sick and twisted sense of humor. I like it. Can I come to the next BBQ?
(FYI: Here is the original invite, as rejected by Ronnie’s beautiful—and normal…at least by comparison—wife.)
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Ronnie Peace said:
Barb, when the next baby harvesting season approaches I will do everything in my power to have you added to the list
(Baby ribs are the best!)
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alisonewilliams said:
Reblogged this on Alison Williams Writing and commented:
Just a few hints…
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barbtaub said:
Thanks so much for the reblog!
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ronnieuwannapeaceome said:
I love articles written in the ‘present’ tense
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barbtaub said:
Thanks! I love hearing that.
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Niina said:
I’d totally love that comma plaque. And the bracelet wouldn’t be too bad either, even though I don’t write “dark and stormy night” type of stories.
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barbtaub said:
You should check out the bracelet site. She has hundreds, across a wide range of genres/interests. Of course, as a new grandma, I’m pretty pleased that a comma will save my life.
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Ellen Hawley said:
I hate to admit it, but I kind of like the bookends.
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barbtaub said:
Me too!
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hilarycustancegreen said:
Me too!
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patriciasands said:
I love your posts, Barb, but I’m hiding this one from my kids!
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barbtaub said:
They would be all over that toilet/plunger gift, right?
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judithbarrow1 said:
Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: and commented:
Brilliantly funny!! Er… and useful?
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barbtaub said:
Belated thanks for the reblog!
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Sue Vincent said:
Reblogged this on Daily Echo.
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barbtaub said:
Very belated but heartfelt thanks for the reblog.
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Sue Vincent said:
My pleasure, Barb 🙂
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The Story Reading Ape said:
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
In case you missed this Informative(?) Post by Barb 😀
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barbtaub said:
Thanks so SO much for the reblog! I really appreciate it.
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The Story Reading Ape said:
Welcome Barb – Have a GREAT December 👍😃🐵
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Annika Perry said:
I’m keen on jewellery – so it would have to be the bracelet, for the typewriter along as otherwise it is not quite my genre.
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barbtaub said:
At the risk of sounding like I’m pimping her Etsy store, you might want to go along and see all the other fabulous genre bracelets there. Amazing!
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macjam47 said:
I don’t read sci-fi, but I do like the bracelet. Bookends? Love them, but there is no end to books. Writer’s Block is hysterical.
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barbtaub said:
The writers block is my favorite. But the, it’s a well-known fact that I have zero taste…
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Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Christmas post reblog.. Some wonderfully witty gifts for writers and the one I particular like is the Writer Unblocker which has multi-uses.
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barbtaub said:
Thank you, thank you for the reblog!
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Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
pleasure Barb.. hugs
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Susan said:
Oh gosh – I’m torn between the bookends and the bracelet. Actually, I rather fancy the Jane Austen tattoos. Maybe I need all of them… This is such a cool Christmas list!
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barbtaub said:
I think a Darcy tattoo somewhere naughty would be fantastic!
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Annette Rochelle Aben said:
I must have the cookie cutters… and then force my sister to sue them for her roll out cookies! 🙂
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barbtaub said:
Taking shameless advantage of your sister? How very Austen, my dear!
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Annette Rochelle Aben said:
I must have the cookie cutters… and then force my sister to use them for her roll out cookies! 🙂
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kimwrtr said:
Reblogged this on Kim's Author Support Blog.
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barbtaub said:
Thank you so so much for the reblog. I hope your present-buyers read your blog!
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olganm said:
Fantastic! thanks, Barb!
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shelleywilson72 said:
Brilliant! Am I the only one that’s rushing to buy the toilet set? 😉
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barbtaub said:
It’s absolutely my favorite. (Although I’m still enchanted with the idea of a Darcy tattoo somewhere very naughty…)
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Ali Isaac said:
Excellent, Barb! 😁
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teagan geneviene said:
OMG… I’m in love with the “The End” bookends! I’m off to Amazon to look for some! 😀 I hope you had a very Merry Christmas, Barb.
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Georgia Rose said:
How did I miss this!! I cannot believe the babygro is out of stock – boo… Totally fab site for presents Barb I’m bookmarking this for next year – my relatives are not going to know what’s hit them – hahaha! 🙂
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Georgia Rose said:
I should have added that the best (only) gift for writers I’ve ever received is a travel mug from my son with ‘Keep Calm I’m An Author’ on it…love it but, it’s never been out of the house 😉
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barbtaub said:
Since everybody in my family is a writer, these gifts do tend to lose their impact…
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