With one of those anniversaries coming up, I started thinking it might be time to update the fairy tale…
Once Upon a Time
Chapter 1
A girl met her prince. He was tall, dark, and handsome. (Actually, he was a Republican. But he was definitely tall.) They fell in love, and got married. *
Chapter 2.
He brought her to his castle and they lived happily ever after.**
The End***
*Okay, so thirty-five+ years of life happened between Chapters 1 and 2. They included:
|
MONTHS |
SPENT: |
|
36 |
Pregnant |
|
96 |
Changing diapers |
|
192 |
Getting offspring into or out of carseats |
|
180 |
Driving to Sunday School |
|
48 bazillion |
Driving practice with teenage drivers. (Note: this item is multiplied by Parental-Terror units, which include the number of times your life flashes before your eyes…) |
|
134 down, 10 to go |
College tuition |
|
360 |
Thinking up something to have for dinner |
|
0 |
Playing with my grandchildren (but I’m not bitter. Much…) |
**In the romance-writing biz, we aim for the HEA (Happily-Ever-After), or—if we’re milking it for series potential—at least a HFN (Happily-for-Now. No, it doesn’t mean Hell-eFfing-No…).
I was thinking about the HFN today when I went to a friend’s birthday lunch. She’s 93, so I asked her to tell me about her favorite birthday ever. “Considering the alternative,” she told me, “Every birthday I make it to is the best one ever.” So of course, I asked for her secret to a long happy ever after. She answered right away. “Have a lot of friends who remember you even when you can’t remember their names.” A few minutes later she added, “Don’t say no to sweets.” And finally, “Don’t look back.”
***UPDATES: So it turns out that my Chapter 2 was a HFN, and we’re about to start on we’re well into Chapter 3:
- We’ve downsized from the castle to the Hobbit House. Hint: What do Scots wear under their kilts? I now know!
- The College Tuition entry can now move to 144 down, 0 to go.
- And the best update of Chapter 3? I can change that last line of the chart to read: MONTHS: 2 SPENT: Playing with my grandchild
Grandparenting rocks. Turns out that Chapter 3 is the real HEA!
What is your best advice for a happy-ever-after? I’ll bet it’s not nearly as funny as Betty White’s tips.
Barb Taub 
Betty White’s top ten tips were brilliant.
Glad your grandchild has provided your HEA.
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I particularly liked #10: Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep. 9 if you’re ugly.
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Congratulations on Chapter 3 🙂
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I know! No more tuition payments AND a grandchild? I won the lottery.
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And that’s one win where the interest exceeds the winnings 😉
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Fabulous. I love this post. My happily ever after started 45 years ago. ❤️ I’ve never done a breakdown of the months. ☺ Love Betty White’s piece.
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Congrats on 45 years! You’re definitely a winner.
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Best advice for HEA? Ensure the bodies can never be found . . . .
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True! You can have friends who know where the bodies are buried, but the true HEA friends are the ones who helped you put them there.
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That was great! Glad to hear you’re now playing with your grandchild. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I’ve been trying to convince her to move across the pond, but grandbaby finds it more convenient to stay in the States where her parents live. At least until she can hold her head up and talk. That limits the playtime opportunities somewhat…
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Being a grandparent is definitely the HEA 😀
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So so true!
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Lovely post. Many congratulations on your HEA. I find being a grandparent much less stressful than being a parent. 🙂
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Congratulations on your HEA! LOVE Betty White. Enjoy your grandbaby!
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Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: and commented:
Always keep the doors open for friends – tell relatives to make appointments to see you – except for the grandkids – they will always be exempt. Glad you had a great play time with yours,Barb. Great post
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So that’s why I always feel tired – I needed that extra hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Excellent stuff as ever, Barb.
I also love your days spent thinking of something to have for dinner. What you do is, you marry man who’s lived on his own for years and has completely different tastes in food. Then you agree with him that you’ll each get your own meals as and when you want them. Works for me!!!!!
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Come on Terry. You’re gorgeous. I’d say you can cut back to 7 hours…
I like your cooking solution, but it wouldn’t have worked for us back in the day. It was really a matter of definition, as to what constitutes a meal. I remember the time I went away on business and the kids called me. Seems at dinner time, their dad handed them each a potato and pointed to the microwave. Dinner sorted. I called him and we had a long talk about how “dinner” typically involved more than one unadorned food item. The next night the kids called again, even more upset. Along with the potato, he had pointed to a pot of “lentil stew” which involved exactly two ingredients, lentils and water. They would, the kids informed me, be at the neighbors until I got back or until the Child & Family Services people came to take them away…
Now, however, with all four kids off the payroll, you might think that the every-person-for-themselves method would work. Indeed, the hub told me that while I was in the States with the new grandbaby, he had mastered one cooked item. It was his own invention, cornbread with jalapeños and raisins. He says I just don’t know what I’m missing. I intend to keep it that way.
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Congratulations on the chapters of your life. Chapter 3 is a lot of fun and an interesting time. Enjoy the moments.😊
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Thanks George–expert advice!
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Lovely Chapter Three and loved Betty White’s wonderful advice … even if I always forget to make those all important preventative doctor appointments.
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She seems to know what she’s talking about. So get out there and refill that Dr. Johnnie Rx!
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LOL I think she has the right of if but If I had my druthers and I do, I’ll go for a Pinot Grigio or Chardonnay Rx 😉
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