Tags
flu, Google, hot toddy, humor, La bohème, M&M's, Marriage, Mother, sick, sick in bed, Television program, Virginia, WikiHow
While I’m traveling in India, I’d like to repost in honor of my mother and Mother’s Day in the UK. I raise a hot toddy in honor of moms everywhere!
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while Nature affects the cure.–Voltaire
I have nothing to write about because this is day nine in which I have done ab.so.lute.ly nothing. Unless you count the moaning, of course. When sick, I am a world-class moaner. Back when my children were little, it was understood: mothers don’t get sick. They may have triple-digit temperatures, cough like the death scene in La bohème, and pop ibuprofen like M&Ms, but as our neighbors in Virginia said, mamas don’t take to the bed. They make chicken soup and do laundry. (Note: see column from 1990 to see how I did it then.)
But now the kids are grown, I’m working at home, and here’s the thing: I don’t know how to be sick. I tried googling “How to be sick in bed”. Turns out I was supposed to be doing a lot of things the past nine days. Wiki-How’s list includes art projects, crafts, sewing, playing computer games, pedicures, catching up on my texting, watching all the TV programs I don’t usually bother with, making to-do lists, yada yada. I didn’t tick off a single box on that list. My toenails look terrible. As a fairly competitive person, it’s painful to admit that I’m an abject failure when it comes to being sick in bed.
So instead, I checked in with the one expert who outranks Google. I called my mother. Both she and my sister listened unsympathetically as I poured out my despair over being unable to get Nyquil or any simulacrum thereof here in England. I could almost feel them reaching through the Skype window to slap me upside the head. “Have you had a hot toddy?” (Warning: here comes fever-induced digression. I guess I’m lucky there are 5500 miles between us, or I would have been dodging spoons. During dinners as we were growing up, my mother enforced discipline among her ten offspring through judicious spoon flinging. As my sister pointed out, Mother must have loved us, because she never threw a knife. And we knew she could throw one, because it was a skill she’d picked up as a girl on the south side of Chicago. Occasionally she used to show off her technique out in our backyard. These demos left us impressed, jealous, and a bit worried.)
As soon as we hung up, I grabbed the whiskey, lemon, and honey. The smell alone brought back so many memories. Yes! That’s how to be sick in bed. I slept like a log that night. Despite the other occupant of the marital bed’s complaints about snoring that frightened the dog and set off seismographs in neighboring counties, by the next morning, I could tell I was finally getting better. Thanks, Mother!
MOTHER’S HOT TODDY RECIPE
2 Tablespoons whiskey. (You should probably put some into the cup too…)
Juice of one lemon**
Honey (generous dollop)
Boiling water to fill cup
**There are people who put in orange slices studded with whole cloves and stir with a cinnamon stick. There are also people who order mixed drinks with little umbrellas. You know who you are.
Mick Canning said:
Now THAT is good advice.
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Mary Smith said:
Excellent advice. As a Scot, I’m a great believer in a hot toddy as a remedy. I think it should be taken regularly as a preventative as well 🙂
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Paul said:
Yep in lieu of Nyquil, that would have to do. But the glaring fact remains that YOU HAVE NO NYQUIL! Lordy! And I thought the olde countrie was so far advanced. Oh man, that’s rough. I mean NQ is simply packed with health inducing natural remedies like, acetaminophen, dextromethorphan, doxylamine, and phenylephrine. Yum for nature’s natural cure. Ha! i used to drink the stuff even to alleviate boredom – it is that good. Which is why around here it is kept behind the counter and sold in 12 oz bottles at the biggest. There are a lot of repeat customers. 😀
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Georgia Rose said:
I found out the joys of whiskey too when ill recently (forget the honey and lemon though!) but NyQuil sounds like terrific stuff, isn’t it imported to the UK? 🙂
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linda1633 said:
My grandmother used to give us kids the same cold remedy; lemon, honey, and whiskey. I don’t remember if it worked that great, but it knocked us out for the rest of the night and grandma always looked better in the morning.
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Andrew Joyce said:
I didn’t know anyone or anything outranked Google. Good to know mothers are still holding their own.
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