It’s been a tough year for writers. Sure, we tell lies about our imaginary friends write stories, but it really works best if our worst fears stay within their 85K word count instead of becoming presidential candidates.
Frankly, as the holidays approach this year, that special writer in your life needs more from you than pretending (again) to read their book or even buying it on Amazon. (Again.) They need you to go beyond reminding them about personal hygiene, putting on pants before they go out, or if they’ve been arguing with their characters out loud. (Again.)
Right now, your special writer needs some love. And what better time to show you care than the holiday season? Luckily, there are a lot of absolutely senseless gifts to gladden the heart of any writer. Last year I offered writerly-gift suggestions–
Practical gifts are out, of course, because if writers were practical…well, they certainly wouldn’t be writers. [see:It’s (still) not personal… It’s the (writing) business.]
In addition to all those mentioned in last year’s writers gifts post here, I’ve got a few more essentials.
- Peace and Quiet. There isn’t a writer alive who doesn’t
want to scream “STFU World!”express their desire for some version of the Cone of Silence. Until science catches up to TV though, you might try getting your writer away from it all. If you think outside the grid, peace might actually be cheaper than you might expect— -
“Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.”—Ogden Nash.
Inspiration and comfort comes in many forms. Some are very good.
Some are good and quick. - Cool Tech. You know you want it.
- The well-dressed writer. Mwa-ha-ha-ha. Okay, there are a metric ton of T-shirts and other apparel items bearing writerly admonitions. But let’s face it. One of the enormous advantages of being a writer is that you never have to get dressed up. Or get dressed, for that matter. If any writers get up, pull on a clean and pressed outfit, and do their hair…well, I don’t know them, but I do hope their new live-in lover lasts past that first week, because I’m pretty sure the grooming won’t. So instead I’ll add in a few de rigeur grammar nazi items, the odd T-shirt, and a baby outfit because you can never start their programming too young.
- Stocking stuffers. If your writer
has been very goodpretty goodhasn’t actually been arrested this year: - Genre-specific. — For the historical fiction writers plus general literary boo-boos: For your horror writer:
Of course, there is a fabulous gift that every writer dreams of but may be too shy to ask for themselves. It’s the one thing that every single person they know could do for them. It’s easy, and (in these days of below-subsistence-level book pricing) it’s even cheap. You can buy their book, read it, and then—here comes the gift part—write a review. Just tick off some stars, say a few words about almost anything at all (but the book is a good place to start) and you’re done. You don’t have to write a gift tag or wrap anything. Believe me, your writer will think it’s the best present you could ever give. (Unless you happen to be on the nominating committee for the Booker prize, of course. In that case, you might want to go with the two best words ever written.)
What’s the best gift for writers you’ve ever given or received?
ichabod2014ic said:
My mom gave me a full size replica of the Maltese Falcon. 🙂
Yay!
Thanks, mom, you’re the best!
~Icky. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Wow—how fabulous!
LikeLike
C thehappymeerkat said:
Wow, a waterproof notepad…genius for tea and coffee spills too 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Ah, a writer after my own (messy) heart!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cathy said:
What great finds! I might even buy myself one or two 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Enjoy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Andrew Joyce said:
I have a box of those band-aids. My favourite quote is: “Thou are a scoundrel, a naive, and an eater of broken meats.” (I’m not going to do your work for you. I had to look up what the hell broken meats meant, so you can do it too.)
LikeLiked by 2 people
barbtaub said:
I actually know that one! (Not, of course, from being an English Lit major, but from a short-lived but intense office Shakespearean insult competition.) It’s Kent’s epic insult from King Lear—
“A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service; and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.”
I was particularly fond of “the son and heir of a mongrel bitch”, which I used once to very little effect at a Ren Fair in California.
(And the broken meats are leftovers.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Andrew Joyce said:
Reblogged this on Andrew Joyce.
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Thanks so much for the reblog!
LikeLike
Annette Rochelle Aben said:
The basket of chocolate and whiskey is great!
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
It was my favorite too!
LikeLike
allthoughtswork said:
Um…if your guests are in constant need of blood remover I should think the stories around there would write themselves.
Womp, womp.
In other news, I’m totally with the rabbit on “Watership Down.” Shit gave me PTSD along with “Bambi, a Life in the Woods”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
I’m in love with the Watership Downer mug. Especially because the backside says, “Fill me with hot fluid and drink like you really mean it.”
LikeLike
allthoughtswork said:
Bunny blood?
LikeLike
nkdwhtguy said:
“If any writers get up, pull on a clean and pressed outfit, and do their hair…well, I don’t know them, but I do hope their new live-in lover lasts past that first week, because I’m pretty sure the grooming won’t.”
Funny stuff! I threw all my clothes away a long time after I started writing. I became socially inept, unacceptable, and now suffer from social anxiety. But at least I don’t have any laundry to do anymore.
LikeLiked by 2 people
barbtaub said:
All TOTALLY worth it for the laundry benefits alone!
LikeLike
TanGental said:
Very helpful Barb. I haven’t done my list yet, mainly because i keep starting it in the shower. Now I have the answer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
If you insist on thinking in the shower, you absolutely need the waterproof pad. (Very useful for damp walks around London too.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
TanGental said:
True
LikeLike
Mary Smith said:
I’ve got one of those waterproof notebooks but I haven’t used it yet. I think I’m supposed to go for a walk in the rain and be inspired.
You can get a pen which shines a light on your notebook so when you wake in the night you can jot down that brilliant idea. I want one of those if I can find where the DH can buy it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Never let it be said that we are not a full-service blog… Here you go!
LikeLike
shelleywilson72 said:
Ha ha, love the waterproof notepad!! 😂😂😂📝
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
For all your brilliant insights in the privacy of your…er…privacy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lucinda E Clarke said:
I only ever ask for Amazon gift vouchers (to buy more books) and cheery liqueur chocolates.
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Ah, but you know you’ll buy the books anyway. This way you could get something totally unexpected. (Because who would expect zombie bookends?)
LikeLike
Lucinda E Clarke said:
How did you guess I would use the voucher to buy more books!!! And that should be cherry liquers – will I ever clean up my typos?
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Oh, yeah…I really went out on a limb on the book voucher thing… (And I thought cheery liquors sounded quite seasonal.)
LikeLike
Zoe the Fabulous Feline said:
Reblogged this on The Life & Times of Zoe the Fabulous Feline and commented:
Join the witty Barb Taub for coffee and writing…ah, well, in this case, for discussion of gifts for writers. As usual, the entire piece had me laughing out loud. Enjoy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
A belated but very grateful thanks for the reblog!!
LikeLike
Emily said:
4 makes me very envious of writers everywhere. I have said that the minute I retire, any piece of clothing that is not a pair of jeans or a tee-shirt goes out the window!
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
One of the best days of my life was when all my (black, gray, navy) suits went off to the Salvation Army. Freedom!
LikeLike
Eileen said:
Best gift was my first typewriter. Showing my age here!
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Do you still have it? Maybe you need that conversion kit?
LikeLike
Rhino House said:
OK, after that I’m going to hide in the cellar with the wine until January.
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Wine does make a lovely gift for a writer!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mick Canning said:
Reblogged this on Mick Canning and commented:
I know I don’t do a huge number of reblogs, but Barb’s superb post is just too good not to share!
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Wine does make a lovely gift for a writer!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mick Canning said:
Reblogged this on Mickcanning.co with a note: ‘I know I don’t do a huge number of reblogs, but Barb’s superb post is just too good not to share!’ And it is, too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
I’m so grateful for the lovely reblog!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mick Canning said:
You’re welcome, Barb. Great post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kate McClelland said:
Reblogged this on Kate McClelland.
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
Thank you so much for the reblog Kate! I hope your favourite gifts come your way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kate McClelland said:
Thanks Bar, you too :0)
LikeLike
arv! said:
Interesting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Terry Tyler said:
I require the Watership Down mug 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
barbtaub said:
After the year you’ve had, you TOTALLY deserve the Watership Downer.
LikeLike
Terry Tyler said:
Barb, we have ordered it, and the Macbeth soap! Both going to be for presents, though; thanks for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person