Tags
covid, humor, making money as a writer, pandemic, post-covid, writer, writing as a hobby, you know you're a writer
Okay, we get it. Writers are screwed.
Over the past year and a half, it’s everywhere. People keep emailing/texting/posting links about writers only earning a third of pre-pandemic amounts (although since they weren’t even approaching minimum wage to start, it’s a low bar anyway…).
But seriously? Writing doesn’t pay? You’re depressed? This is news?
If you’re wondering about being a writer in a post-pandemic world, I offer this (revised) quiz.
Top Ten Ways to Tell If You’re A (Post-Covid) Writer?
_____1. Do you have arguments with your characters about vaccinations? Do you lose?
_____2. Do you eavesdrop on other people’s Zoom conversations because you might use them in your novel? Do you mentally compose better, more dramatic responses?
_____3. Do you correct the grammar and spelling in emails from your child’s teacher, your manager, or any close relative? Flinch at misuse of their/they’re/there or your/you/re? **[Bonus points if you send the emails back corrected.]
_____4. Quarantine Your Darlings: do you have conversations with the vulnerable paragraphs you’re cutting out of your manuscript, assuring them you’re going to isolate them for their own safety, but they can come out of lockdown for your next book?
_____5. When you hear about a friend’s covid-dating, do you think about how you would extend lockdown for at least three more chapters to build tension?
_____6. Do you worry about the NSA noticing your recent online searches include “how to counterfeit a negative covid test”, “sabotaging your neighbors’ hand sanitizer”, “lightweight hunting bow”, “best concealed-carry weapons”, “handcrafted coffins”, “amount of blood loss that is survivable”, and “getting a fake vaccine passport”?
_____7. Do you write at night? Sometimes until the next night? Wear sweats so you don’t have to change to take the dog out but then realize you forgot to put on yoga pants? Again?
_____8. Do you interrupt your writing only to send a quick note to Ben and Jerry’s suggesting killer new ice cream flavor(s), all of which involve hard liquor?
_____9. For the first time in your life, does what you’ve always wanted to do anyway (work from home, maintain social distance, isolate) now make you a hero?
_____10. Have you written the words “THE END” and realized you don’t have any more reasons to avoid people unless you immediately start your next book?
If you checked off numbers 1-9, you can high-five the other writer wannabe’s in your virtual writing group. If you ticked #10, congratulations: you’re a post-Covid writer.
beth said:
Oh, I love this – hilarious!
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barbtaub said:
Thanks! ☺️
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Kassandra Lamb said:
I definitely quarantine my darlings!! Been known to do 1, 2 and 7 as well… 😀
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barbtaub said:
Congratulations! 🥳
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Limp Cabbage and Soggy Chips said:
Have you been spying on me?
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barbtaub said:
I’m pretty sure we’re related somewhere along the line!
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Stuart Danker said:
Lol I DID flinch at the ‘your a writer’ image. Anyway, I always love a good humour post, and I enjoy the way you do it. Thanks for sharing!
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barbtaub said:
I’ve also been known to correct signs in shops, to my children’s appalled shame. 😳
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joylennick said:
Who needs cod-liver oil and supplements, when we have Barb?! Tee hee. Hugs x
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barbtaub said:
WooHoo! 🥳 🙌 🎉 I’m thinking of adding this to my blog header. “Readers say they prefer Barb to cod-liver oil!”
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pollymorse said:
So funny. Keep it up!
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barbtaub said:
Thanks! (How did you do on the quiz?)
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pollymorse said:
Not good, I was ticking off everything but the one thing you want to tick off, writing The End. I finished nothing! I finished the quiz, does that count?
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barbtaub said:
An excellent start!
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pollymorse said:
Thanks.
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Books & Bonsai said:
Definitely ALL of the above… so glad I am normal!
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barbtaub said:
All of them? You’re my post-Covid hero!
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Books & Bonsai said:
Reblogged this on anitadawesauthor.com.
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barbtaub said:
Thanks a bazillion for the very flattering reblog!
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Books & Bonsai said:
You’re welcome, Barb!
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Mary Smith said:
Yes, yes and yes… I nearly corrected and sent back an email then realised it was from my specialist cancer nurse – maybe be knows better than I where apostrophes should go?
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barbtaub said:
Well, your nurse might know where the needles and pills should go, but the jury is out on their grammar proficiency.
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Geoff Stamper said:
Hysterical.
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marysue7 said:
made me smile … again (thankyou)
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barbtaub said:
😁
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insearchofitall said:
Great list. I always see things that make me flinch but keep quiet. I already have few enough friends. My daughter is so embarrassed by me because I eaves drop on conversations or stare a bit and then make up a story of their lives. I’m not good at isolation though. It’s people that spark my creativity. They are all nuts, you know. Thanks for the smile I’ll keep in my sleep.
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barbtaub said:
My family gives me The Look 👀 and says, “I do not want to read about this.”
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OIKOS™- Art, Books & more said:
Reblogged this on OPENED HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Jennie said:
Love this!
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Darlene said:
These are all great and oh so true! I secretly correct grammar and spelling but don’t often return the document/letter/birthday card corrected. I did manage to write The End on my WIP while visiting friends on the Isle of Arran. Does that count?
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Jadi Campbell said:
You nailed it, Barb! (“Hi, my name is Jadi, and I’m a Post-Covid Writer…”)
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