If Thanksgiving had a Grinch, it would be me this year

[Image credit: Canva AI]

Oddly enough, here in the UK there isn’t much interest in celebrating the American Pilgrims’ escape from religious persecution in England, or their survival of New England winters until Dunkin’ Donuts were invented, so giving thanks isn’t getting a lot of airtime here in Scotland this week. Plus this hasn’t been the best year, so last week as I gathered ingredients for our traditional American dry turkey shreds, I worried about what I could find to be thankful for. I had to dig deep, but I did come up with a few things.

1. I’m thankful for finding the ONE store in Glasgow that carries the essential ingredient to the traditional American Thanksgiving meal:
   

   You can do without the turkey. You can fake the ‘homemade’ cranberry sauce. You can even skip the nutritionally bankrupt green bean casserole with fried onions on top. But without the pumpkin pie made the way our pilgrim foremothers did it—with canned pumpkin puree from the pilgrim fore-supermarket—we might as well have stayed in England and waited for Brexit.

2. I’m (a little bit) thankful we could get a turkey for Thanksgiving. The first year we were in Scotland, we celebrated Thanksgiving in Glasgow. I already knew it would be difficult to get a turkey, as they don’t appear in the local shops until close to their traditional starring role as Christmas dinner. But I heard about an organic turkey farm in the north of Scotland, so I put the address into my phone Sat-Nav and headed out. Soon I was deep in the Scottish countryside, admiring a field with adorable ponies grazing in it, but worried about the fact that my phone wasn’t picking up any signals. By about the tenth time I passed that same field, the ponies weren’t nearly as attractive, so I switched to traditional navigation. In Scotland, that means by pub: “Easy as kin be. Tak’ a pointy caw afore ye come tae th’ Prince’s Bonnit, then seicont left efter whaur th’ Three Cygnets used tae be ‘n’ up th’ brae tae th’ third track efter th’ Drum ‘n’ Thistle. Deid oan pest th’ Pipers Caa’ tae th’ wee road oan th’ left. Ye cannae miss it.” By a miracle, I eventually found the farm just as they were getting ready to close up for the day. The shop attendant pointed out my waiting bird. I pointed out the fact that said bird was still breathing. After a little more negotiation (and much, much ££’s changing hands), I was carrying the freshly de-headed (and de-feathered and de-footed) bird to my car. That’s when the rest of the free-ranging flock caught sight of me.
   

   I think they were gobbling, “Get her. She’s killed Mabel!” but I didn’t stop to ask as I sprinted for the car, turkeys in hot pursuit. I made it home without further turkey casualties, and dinner was spectacular. But next year I’m thinking…tofu. [Since I didn’t stop to take photos, this image is courtesy of Canva AI]

3.  I’m thankful for bundt cake pans. Apparently, all the cool kids are roasting their turkeys with that little tube in the middle of the cake pan shoved up their turkey’s middle bits.
   

   Although the naked turkey looked distinctly pornographic, it was actually delicious.

4. I’m grateful for the funny, charming, articulate, and all-round lovely readers who’ve stopped by this blog during the past year. I wish I could give you each some of our candied sweet potatoes. (No, seriously. I can’t stand that stuff. It’s all got to go…)
5. But mostly I’m just incredibly thankful for leftovers. As one of ten kids growing up, there was no such thing. It took me decades to figure out what do do with leftover food, but Thanksgiving made me a believer. Sure, nobody actually likes eating the turkey and its traditional American sides (‘candied’ sweet potatoes and green beans mixed with dried onion soup mix) by the time the Thanksgiving meal is finally served. But all that recedes into hazy memories. A bit like childbirth, actually. Because for the rest of the week, every meal will be leftovers. I don’t have to cook a thing, or even think about it.
   

   Leftovers: I’m SO thankful!

How about you? What are you thankful for?