And, because messing with their little heads just never gets old, here’s an Easter post from a year ago…
How to Terrorize Small Children
I committed an Easter crime once. I was persuaded to dress up in a bunny costume for my daughter’s preschool class. The teacher opened the door and in I teetered, six-plus feet (counting the ears) of Easter excitement. For about a nanosecond, there was total silence while I held up my basket of plastic eggs. Then eighteen mouths were screaming for eighteen mothers, thirty-six eyes were filling with tears, and seventy-two tiny arms and legs were churning toward the door. We’re not even going to discuss what happened in eighteen little pairs of undies as I single-handedly drove the roomful of preschoolers ballistic with terror.
Maybe if that whole child-soldier/ kidnapping/ warlord gig doesn’t work out for him, Joseph Kony could find fulfillment dressing up as a giant bunny and appearing before unsuspecting preschoolers. Looking back, I realize that if I’d gone into work one day to find an eleven-foot tall rabbit heading for me – with no prior memo announcing, “At 10:15AM today, staff will be terrorized by long-eared rodents twice your size,” – I would probably not have been nearly as nice about it as those preschoolers. After all, not one of them pressed charges or pulled a weapon even though it was hunting season. In SW Virginia. I’m just lucky I didn’t end up on the hood of someone’s car, tied down next to Bambi.
It’s not as if I didn’t know better. My kids have an unbroken string of bad experiences with costume-clad adults. The first time we did the Mouse, Donald Duck waddled up to us. He was reaching out to Child #2 when she hauled off and planted him a solid one straight to his – duckness. [more…]