I’ve already survived beings who shuffle along, wipe their oozing slime, puss, and (frequently) blood onto me, are known to bite and (also frequently) infect me with absolutely disgusting plagues. I do have four kids after all.
She said she was glad I wasn’t a ‘real’ Yankee (I was), gave me her recipes for red beans and rice (yum) and homemade mayonnaise (WTF?), taught me how to smock (!) and told me to watch out for the Faculty Wives Club at the University (I did).
I can stay anywhere. Okay…anywhere that has wifi. And an en suite because I won’t put on shoes to use the bathroom. And a washing machine, dishwasher, fridge-freezer, and microwave. A patio with a grill. Privacy. Good restaurants, access to museums and culture, outdoor recreation, water, mountains, good transportation, and historical sites. And an electric kettle.
“Doctor, this woman’s kidneys are missing.” We made it through various bits of eerie mayhem—including the alien birth (tastefully shown in silhouette behind a scrim, but I still recognized my daughter as the ‘mother’)—by not meeting the eyes of any other parents.
So happy you could all join us! There’s nothing that tops a great cup of coffee like sharing a cup …
But once her glittery hoo-ha gets the job done, he realizes that he will never again have satisfying sex with any other woman.
In most horror, it’s enough that the main characters survive Daddy coming for them with an axe. But in urban fantasy, they catch the ghost who drove Daddy crazy and charge him with income tax evasion, bring hot dish to the ghost’s mama, and maybe end up married to the ghost’s sister.
My first day of work in Seattle, someone whispered about a coworker who “dropped the f-bomb”. Since I came out of software and we were dropping the entire f-word without any euphemisms, this struck me as completely hilarious.
“The first rule of time travel is that any and all modifications made to the timeline result in Hitler winning World War II. Run over a hippy in 1968? Hitler wins.
— colonel_green, ScansDaily”
So Candy fell deeply in love with the monkey and changed the ending to him eating all the planes and crushing all the military vehicles, after explaining to him that she couldn’t ever be with him because inter-species relationships were not allowed on Amazon.
The books, writing and humor of Greg Small
THE DRIVELLINGS OF TWATTERSLEY FROMAGE
life with humor and hope
My name is Suki, my human is a writer, and this is about my world. The world according to Suki The Cat. My humans smell funny, look weird, and I can't understand a thing they say, but they feed me, so hey, what are you gonna do? Copyright © 2019 pollymorse.blog
Stories & Essays
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Barbara Spencer Writes...
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~ Communicator, WordSmith, Artist, Guide, Mentor, Muse ~
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