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Last October—
I’ve been living in the UK for years now, so I had no idea that an insidious drug cult has taken over America. My first clue was when the plane landed in Atlanta. A group of young women screamed as they entered the terminal. No, really. Screamed. “PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES!” When my next flight landed in DC, several passengers menaced a Dunkin’ Donuts employee who was attempting to close down for the night. “Pumpkin spice donuts!” they demanded.
It’s everywhere. Hordes of suburban white female Americans are apparently roaming the streets, shuffling along and chanting “PUMPKIN SPICEEEEEE”. I tried to escape into my sacred, secure place, the one establishment that makes every ex-pat American groan with homesickness. But the clerk in Trader Joes greeted me brightly with the information that “We carry over 47 pumpkin spice products!”
I staggered to my friend Janine’s house. I’ve known her for four decades, and I knew I could count on her to offer me a comfy chair, a cup of coffee, and her latest baking treat. Here she comes now with a plate of her home-baked petit fours. I’ll just have a taste and…
OMG! PUMPKIN SPICEEEEEE!!!!
Hey, it’s actually pretty good. Only now I have an uncontrollable urge to change into yoga pants, pin stuff to Pinterest, and buy all 47 things from Trader Joes…
This October—
This year, when I arrived in the States I thought I was prepared for America’s annual Pumpkin Spice orgasm.
I could pass the pumpkin spice product displays without blinking.
I could ignore the blatant infiltration by Peeps, those ironic little pervs who aren’t content with subverting their assigned holiday.
I could…
OMG! How will my eyes ever be clean again?
coldhandboyack said:
I remember last year’s post. I’m still a pumpkin fan and love the pumpkin beer.
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Eileen said:
I hate pumpkin anything. It’s everywhere…………….it’s almost worse than Trump. Next there will be Pumpkin Trump and Trumpkin Punk. When that happens, I’m moving to Canada.
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barbtaub said:
Have you bought your ticket to Canada yet?
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Cathy said:
That photo!! 😀 😀
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Eileen said:
How do you find such perfect photo responses!!!!
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barbtaub said:
It’s my superpower!
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Darlene said:
Now I am craving a pumpkin spice latte. None to be found where I am in Spain. Have to wait until I am back in Canada in November.
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Andrew Joyce said:
Does this enter into the equation? Pumpkins are just now getting ripe. To get all that stuff on the shelves and into the stores it had to be manufactured and then shipped to the wholesaler months ago. So where did the “pumpkin” in all those products come from? Just sayin’.
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barbtaub said:
Ewww!
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allthoughtswork said:
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linda1633 said:
Oh, my, heavens. …
I live here and I never noticed how the pumpkin thing was taking over. I mean, the occasional TV commercial, but this?!
Well, at least they aren’t pushing Christmas yet. Much
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Vanessa-Jane Chapman said:
Well pumpkin spice latte are quite a big thing in the UK too now Barb, haven’t you noticed? 🙂 It will gradually infiltrate more and more I’m sure. I’m a fan myself. Although pumpkin spice bleach is a step too far – I really don’t want my toilets or drains, or even my laundry, smelling like things I eat.
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Elyse said:
Pumpkin lattes are pretty tasty. But just this morning I saw Thomas English Muffins in pumpkin spice. Holy crumpets!
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barbtaub said:
Isn’t that one of the harbingers of the End of Days?
https://goo.gl/images/GtqK7x
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Elyse said:
Probably.
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LD Masterson said:
I asked my hubby to pick up a package of Oreos when he was at the story. You know, Oreos – 2 chocolate cookies with a white cream filling in between. He came home with Pumpkin Spice Oreos. The cookies weren’t even chocolate. Plain white imitation cookies with orange stuff in the middle. I can’t even palm them off on the grandkids. This madness has to stop!
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barbtaub said:
Nooooo! Pumpkin spice oreos? Is nothing sacred?
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