Autumn PSL* Season *[Pumpkin Spice Latte]
I’ve been living in the UK for years now, so I had no idea that an insidious drug cult has taken over America. My first clue came a few years ago when my plane landed in Atlanta. A group of young women screamed as they entered the terminal. No, really. Screamed. “PUMPKIN! SPICE! LATTES!” When my next flight landed in DC, several passengers menaced a Dunkin’ Donuts employee who was attempting to close down for the night. “Pumpkin spice donuts!” they demanded.
I’m finishing up a writing project, so hope you don’t mind this Throwback Thursday post regarding a serious epidemic addiction menacing the very foundations of Autumn as we know it. [image credit: diyways.com]
It’s everywhere. Hordes of suburban white female PSL Zombies are apparently roaming the streets, shuffling along in their Uggs and chanting “PUMPKIN SPIIIIICE”. I tried to escape into my sacred, secure place, the one establishment that makes every ex-pat American groan with homesickness. But the clerk in Trader Joes greeted me brightly with the information that “We carry over 47 pumpkin spice products!”
I staggered to my friend Janine’s house. I’ve known her for four decades, and I knew I could count on her to offer me a comfy chair, a cup of coffee, and her latest baking treat. Here she comes now with a plate of her home-baked petit fours. I’ll just have a taste and…
OMG! THEY GOT JANINE!!!
Okay, it’s actually pretty good. Only now I have an uncontrollable urge to change into yoga pants, pin stuff to Pinterest, and buy all 47 things from Trader Joes…
![[Image credit: dailydot.com] http://www.dailydot.com/via/pumpkin-spice-latte-backlash-calm-down/](https://barbtaub.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/3fdb1de38d5cc85c2357fd67467564d3.jpg?w=529)
[Image credit: dailydot.com]
Autumn PSL Season last year—
So last year, when I arrived in the States I thought I was prepared for America’s annual Pumpkin Spice orgasm.
I could pass the pumpkin spice product displays without blinking.
I could ignore the blatant infiltration by Peeps, those ironic little pervs who aren’t content with subverting their assigned holiday.
I could…
![[image credit: i.imgur.com] http://i.imgur.com/QzifXu7.jpg](https://barbtaub.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/5atetrq.jpg?w=529&h=452)
[image credit: i.imgur.com]
[image credit: itscasualfriday.com]
This year?
I pass through the stunning Charles Rennie Mackintosh designed Glasgow Central Station several times a month, and usually pop into one particularly favorite spot where I can count on the perfect mix of caffeine, sugar, and carbs.
But this year?
KrispyKreme’s Pumpkin Spice Donuts [image credit: KrispyKreme]
Barb Taub 
It’s hiding around every corner
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SO scary!
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i love autumn! I love everything about it! Except…. PS Clorox? Really? Do they have Pumpkin Spice Embalming Fluid these days? You know, in case you kick the bucket (full of PSL) during the autumn? Real, homemade pumpkin pie? Sure. Pumpkin Spice (with no pumpkins harmed) anything else? Just Say No!
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Eventually, public reaction will involve congressional hearings, a movement with its own catchy hashtag, and middle school assemblies where a Very Sincere speaker will explain how a pumpkin spice addiction nearly ruined their life—not to mention their wardrobe—but with prayer and therapy they managed to turn their life around.
Or not…
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Of course there will be arguments if liking it is a choice or if you are born with it, say the same genes that make one a suburban American white woman who wears yoga pants (stealing from the meme you posted….)
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This isn’t just a craze, it’s an infection…
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We aren’t infected yet. Hope they’re working on a vaccine, because I don’t like that concoction. 😉
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Maybe it’s time to arm ourselves? (note: see my response to jenanita01 above)
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I’m in Canada right now. First thing I had was a pumpkin spice latte. Lol
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I’m telling you woman–it’s a slippery slope. Sure, today it’s just a PS Latte. But soon you’ll be mainlining raw pumpkin spice and pimping out your dog in exchange for your next fix and your family will be staging an intervention.
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I resisted the pumpkin spice scone tonight. Well, ok, they were out of them. Hope I can sleep.
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I have heard of pumpkin spice through blogging but we don’t have it here. Highly entertaining post
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Maybe I could move there? Do you have a spare room?
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For sure, you are welcome.
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The thing that blows my mind is that none of these things taste like pumpkin…it’s just the spices!
I much prefer the autumnal treats at this time of year in Japan. They go mad about chestnut flavoured desserts (and plenty of even better savory dishes including yams, mushrooms etc. om nom nom…)
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Once in Tokyo I was very graciously treated to an autumn Kaiseki dinner. It was one of the most memorable experiences of my life.
There were about twenty courses, each one presented like a work of art. Some were wrapped in gold foil, some in silk boxes, others in various forms of incredibly gorgeous serving dishes/plates/trays. Each small dish was built around an unbelievable mouth orgasm of autumn treats such as chestnuts.
I dream about that meal.
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Oooh you lucky thing! Kaiseki food is simply amazing (and not really something you can experience outside of Japan!)
A chestnut induced “mouthgasm”sounds like heaven compared to a pumkin spiced coffee!
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The explosion of everything pumpkin-spiced is crazy. I like my coffee black. But now I’m jonesing for a pumpkin pie. Just simple pumpkin pie made with pumpkin, not squash. They mess with everything anymore.
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As an expat living in Scotland, there are actually very few things I miss from America. But canned pumpkin is one of them. Often when people ask what they can bring me from the USA, I ask for a can or two of pumpkin. The thought of having to do whatever it is that turns a jack-o-lantern into pie filling is just…Nope. (Anyone coming over before Thanksgiving? Hint, hint…)
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I’ll never forget the season they ran out of pumpkin puree! Pie makes were using butternut squash in it’s place. I know what you mean about gutting those creatures. Yuck. I’ll keep the canned pumpkin in mind if I ever get the chance to travel. 🙂
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No pumpkin anything for me! Ugh! Bleach that smells like pumpkin? Noooooo.
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Well, that’s kind of the weird thing. As far as I can tell, no pumpkins were harmed in making anything pumpkin spice. As in, it doesn’t actually contain pumpkin. [scratches head…]
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I laughed soooo hard!! Thanks, Barb. 😅
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To paraphrase Detective Thorn (Charlton Heston) from the movie Soylent Green: PUMPKIN SPICE IS CHEMICALS!!!
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