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I had a root canal while I was in India (as explained here), and was supposed to have a crown put on when I got back. But lockdown hit before the NHS could squeeze me in, so… [With Dr. Hingorani, Mumbai]


Some weeks ago, my temporary crown fell off. But we were in the first month of lockdown, so I ignored it.

Later the tooth cracked. But we were in the second month of lockdown. Still ignoring it.

Then it started to hurt. Lots. This was the third month of lockdown, which was clearly going to last for the rest of my natural life. I called 111 (The emergency number for the National Health Service here in Scotland.) They asked about my virus symptoms.

After two days on the phone with the NHS, and about a dozen conversations where they asked about and I denied every possible Covid-19 symptom, I finally heard back from an actual dental professional.

ME: Ow.

DENTIST: During lockdown, we can only offer you two options.

ME: Ow.

DENTIST:  Option One is we give you the filling stuff, and talk you through filling your own tooth.

ME: Ow?

DENTIST: Option Two is we pull the tooth.

ME: OW????

DENTIST: So… how about some antibiotic? Since you’re allergic to penicillin, we have this other stuff which will make you erupt from every orifice if you drink alcohol. Of course, it may do that anyway because it’s pretty strong.

ME: My tooth is fine actually. Feels better by the moment.

Cat [from safe social distance because the NHS won’t allow her to actually share air with patient: (translation) “Good care would have avoided this painful operation.”
Dog: “A miracle! My toothache is gone! Buh-bye…”
[image credit: Wikipedia]

But after thinking about what I’ve already gone through to keep this tooth, I ended up opting for the take-no-tummy-prisoners Rx.

Excuse me, I have to go visit the bathroom for the millionth time today.

[image credit: LoMal Metal Signs]