When you’re writing what you love, it’s the most fun you can have with your clothing still on, unless of course you write naked. —Don Roff

My dog Peri is glad Mary Smith isn’t doing another fiction novel because she would probably be the first one Mary would kill off. I hope the rest of us will enjoy this repost of Mary’s guest blog from a few years back.
Why I Decided NEVER to Write Fiction Again
–Guest post by Mary Smith
After I got over my initial disappointment the email I received from Barb was not an invitation to join her on her travels in India, I felt flattered to be asked to contribute a guest post while she is away. I thought her suggested theme of ‘Vacation’ was just slightly rubbing in my non-invite to India, especially when gazing out at skies which have been grey for weeks.
Rather than remembering holidays in hot sunny countries, though, my thoughts kept going back to the year I decided I was NOT going to write the usual boring composition (which is what we called essays in the first years of secondary school until we reached about fourth year when suddenly they morphed into essays) on ‘What I Did in My Summer Holidays’. It wasn’t only that I felt this was a rather unimaginative topic set by my First Year English teacher but things had happened on my summer holiday which I was not prepared to disclose to him.
I’d spent a fortnight with my family in a small hotel in Fleetwood. My mum preferred it to brash Blackpool a few miles along the coast. There were some other families there with boys around the same ages as me and my sister so we had people to play with, especially in the evening the adults took hours to drink their after-dinner coffee. These boys introduced me to the wonders of Superman comics and we acted out or made up our own story lines. As I was a girl I had to be Lois Lane.
One morning I awoke to find blood on my pyjamas. My first, long-awaited period had finally arrived. When dad came to make sure my sister and I were getting ready for breakfast I told him the exciting news and he went to tell mum. She was not pleased I’d told my dad. “These things,” she said, “are kept between women.” Coming from the woman who, when she’d braced herself to tell me the facts of life, had insisted that menstruation was perfectly normal and natural and nothing to be ashamed of, this reaction surprised me. I began to realise there were a few mixed messages coming my way.
Despite the discomfort of being kitted out with a belt and a pad which felt as though it was the size of half a pillow I was pleased to have caught up with my friends who had all ‘started’ before me. Not the sort of thing to put on a postcard, nor in a composition.
Instead, I let my imagination run riot and wrote a really exciting story set in Rome (where I’d never been). I can’t remember the details now, but it was about robbers, a stolen diamond bracelet and a group of children who risked their lives to capture the thieves (in the catacombs) and recover the bracelet.
I was fairly pleased when I handed it in, thinking it must make for more exciting reading than the 25 or so other compositions. When our work was handed back I was mortified. Mine had been marked 9 out of 30 – the lowest mark I’d ever had in my life. I was good at compositions! Not only that, I was called out to the teacher’s desk and publicly humiliated for either being too stupid to understand his instructions to compose a factual report on my holiday or being deliberately insolent by ignoring his instructions.
“From which book did you copy that story?” he asked.
“I didn’t,” I replied, “I made it up.”
I may not have understood the term plagiarism at the age of just turned 12 but I certainly knew copying was a BAD thing. I slunk back to my desk fighting back tears. Maybe I should have written about being Lois Lane in Fleetwood and getting my first period – what would he have made of that I wondered.
I decided, as I was so useless at it, I would never try my hand at writing fiction again. It never occurred to me the accusation I’d copied it from a book meant it might have actually been quite good. That teacher set back my writing career for years!
Question
Barb: Okay, not only do I love this but I have a question for you. We now know why you did NOT write. What turned you into a writer?
Mary: Probably bloody mindedness! Although I did not attempt to write fiction again for many years I always enjoyed writing – journal entries (from about the age of 14), press releases and newsletters at work. When I was working abroad I wrote about my first visits to Afghanistan when I took a bit of time out after my son was born. That never saw the light of day but because I so wanted to share my experiences I started writing articles which were published in The Guardian Weekly and The Herald. Having work accepted for publication did a lot to boost my confidence as a non-fiction writer and I worked on the book which became Drunk Chickens and Burnt Macaroni. Realising not everyone reads non-fiction I finally decided to try a novel.
About Mary Smith
Born on the island of Islay, Mary Smith moved to the mainland and grew up in South West Scotland. After school she had a miserable year in a bank – all numbers and other people’s money – then did a bit of travelling in France and Italy. A holiday to Pakistan changed her life completely and within a few months she was back in Karachi with a three-year contract (on a volunteer’s wage!) to establish a health education centre at the headquarters of the Pakistan National Leprosy Control Programme.
She signed on again after the first three years but this time to work in Afghanistan where she started a small project training village women (and later, women in the city of Mazar-i-Sharif) as health volunteers. Somewhere along the line she acquired a husband and they had a son, born in Quetta, Pakistan. Returning to Scotland, where there was little call for leprosy workers, Mary decided her gap year was at an end and went to university to study for a degree. She went on to do a Masters in creative writing at Glasgow University. She has worked as senior reporter on her local paper and as a feature writer for a lifestyle magazine.
Drunk Chickens and Burnt Macaroni: Real Stories of Afghan Women is an account of part of her time in Afghanistan. Her novel, No More Mulberries is also set in Afghanistan. She has a collection of poetry, Thousands Pass Here Every Day and last year, in collaboration with photographer Allan Devlin, she produced a picture-led local history, Dumfries Through Time. They have signed a contract for a another local history to be published in 2017 and Mary is working on transforming her blog, My Dad’s a Goldfish into a book.
One day, she WILL write a follow up to No More Mulberries.
Contact and buy links:
- Website: www.marysmith.co.uk
- Blogs: My Dad is a Goldfish; dealing with dementia and Cancer Diaries
- A few of Mary Smith’s books:
Fiction: No More Mulberries: a novel set in Afghanistan:
Poetry collection: Thousands Pass Here Every Day
Non-fiction: Drunk Chickens and Burnt Macaroni: Real Stories of Afghan Women
I get that ) . For the beach I will grab David Sedaris or a bad romance novel that involves a fireman – uniformed character
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Hmmm… A man in uniform? This explains a lot about my childhood.
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Hahaha! – me too, Barb, me too!
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ah, there you go!
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I had a similar experience. My teacher called my story about a cricket tour boring. Stopped me writing for 40 years. Sod.
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The (often completely undeserved) power teachers have over our early selves is scary. But those who wield it for the good are incredible. Daughter #2 had a preschool teacher who was so sure her little story was pure genius, she had my daughter illustrate it and sent it to a children’s magazine where it became the first publication of a little girl who went on to become an Emmy-winning writer who has now written best-selling books and TV shows.
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Ah, that could have been me… sob. And what happened? Another overpaid lawyer. Blame my English teacher…
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Luckily, you recovered and another writer was born!
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I saw the light… eventually
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I so love this!! Mary, your 12-year-old story sounds like an Amanda adventure, in Rome!! I may use some of your ideas. (I won’t plagiarize) It’s incredible how a teacher can be so ignorant. Why would he not give you credit for imagination?? I was lucky that my teachers encouraged me, although I still didn’t write much for another 40 years. Thanks for sharing this again, Barb.
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Thank you, Darlene. Very happy if my story idea from way, way back inspire an Amanda adventure.
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I had a wonderful English teacher called Leslie Ellenore. He emigrated to New Zealand and I cried. I was twelve and the last thing he said to me was, “One day, I’ll be reading one of your books, Judith. Only took me four decades to get a full novel published. Guess he never got around to reading one of them. Sigh. Love your post, Mary. Thanks for the repost, Barb
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Glad you enjoyed the post, Judith. Oddly enough, although he made me feel a fiction failure he didn’t put me off English and towards the end of the year I remember receiving a 29/30 for a composition setting out why Scotland should be independent even though I knew he was a red hot labour man totally opposed to Scottish independence. Maybe that was what set me on the non-fiction path!
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Great post Mary. I think it’s rather nice you felt comfortable telling your father. I was mortified when I got my first period as even though Mum had prepared me I was only 11 and 3 quarters and it was our first summer in Australia – I was too embarrassed to tell my friends’ mother I couldn’t go swimming with them. I hated those belts and pads.
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Thank you, glad you enjoyed the post. My mother was so obviously embarrassed when she gave me the talk I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. I hated those pads and belt, too.
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I had a similar experience. As requested I wrote an exciting report for a newspaper about the latest launch at Cape Canaveral despite not even knowing where it was. In my report, the rocket exploded. How was I to know that weekend this would actually happen? Accused of plagiarism I never bothered from that day on. Mary I so hope you will publish My Dads is a Goldfish, your blog posts were amazing.
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Our self-belief is so easily knocked, isn’t it, and then takes ages to put back together. I had actually decided to get on with My Dad’s a Goldfish when I went for radiotherapy and was staying on my own in Edinburgh. I hadn’t realised how exhausting the treatment would make me nor for how long. However, I hope to get back to it soon
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How did we survive all those knock-downs we had as kids – especially at the tender age of 12?
I am reading Charlie Mackesy’s fantastic The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse at present. And can only get through one or two pages a day. So MANY things that correct the things we were told when we were at school and it’s taken me over 50 years to learn, for example “Often the hardest person to forgive is yourself.”
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Oh, someone has just given me that book as a gift. I’m looking forward to reading it as I’ve heard lots of good things about it.
I don’t know how we managed to survive the knock-downs when we were so young. I don’t think adults understood how deeply their words wounded.
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Pingback: I decided to NEVER write fiction again~ Guest Post by @marysmithwriter #humor #writing | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo
Barb, thank you so much for re-posting this. I enjoyed writing it – though I still wish you’d been emailing to invite me to India!
Will reply to you email as soon as I get home – today! Yay. Dressed, bag packed and waiting for pharmacy to deliver medication.
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I wish we could both be going to India, but it’s going to have to be virtual travel this year.
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Forgot to say, I love the photo of Peri with the note about the cheese!
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She always hopes you’ll visit with more!
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I’d love to visit but would try to hand the cheese over to you before she sniffed it out.
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Mary that teacher should of been shot !
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I was brought up not to discuss those things in front of men too, Mary, and I still don’t. My husband has to guess about these things as I never tell him. I never went anywhere when I was young, we never went away for vacations. As a result I also didn’t like writing these stories as mine always seemed so plain and boring. Although our holidays were all spent at home, we did great things. We would walk to the beach and gather shells to make shell people on the roof of the garden shed and we would hide among the rocks and look for big shells and sea creatures stuck between the rocks. I think in retrospect, I had a fabulous childhood that was well worth writing about.
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I came from a huge family, so vacations were few and far between. Friends went on ski trips and visited exotic places. My father would save his vacation, and every few years pile us into the car (pulling our pop-up tent) and we’d drive cross country to visit the relatives. Or rather criss-cross country as all the interim stops were to look at colleges. But I’m like you Roberta–somehow I have fabulous memories of those trips. (Well, the parts where nobody was vomiting, of course…)
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I think it sounds like a childhood well worth writing about, Robbie, and lots of people would be fascinated by it.
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Teachers of that generation were miserable S.O.B.s! Glad you found your way to fiction eventually. 🙂
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I don’t think some of them saw pupils as actual real people. I was lucky when I moved on to have an excellent English teacher.
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No, they didn’t. I guess the ‘rules’ were also more inflexible back then. That said, I had an amazing nun as the English teacher for my final year of high school – Sister Mary Philomena. 🙂 She was a true academic and didn’t shy away from the sexual references in Hamlet. She was also the Principal and didn’t expel me when I declared myself to be an atheist. 😀
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I’m glad you weren’t totally put off writing, Mary. Your stories are so good!
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Thank you, Eliza. Most of what I write even now, however, is non-fiction. Must try to get back to fiction – making things up 🙂
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Great story – I’m only glad you managed to overcome the teacher’s criticism. Some people never do – and I wonder how many teachers know how seriously their criticism is taken.
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It took a long time, Noelle. I hope teachers today are more aware of the damage they can cause.
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Thanks for sharing.
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