A friend recently sent me an article listing the top signs of a healthy relationship. I felt bad for the authors because they wasted a lot of time on completely irrelevant factors like vulnerability, trust, compatibility, yada yada. Although my own Facebook page doesn’t show a relationship status (FB doesn’t offer “zombie apocalypse partner /date for national holidays” as an option), I’ve been married, a parent, a friend, and part of a family for longer than Mark Zuckerberg’s been alive. I’m not saying that maturity is everything, but I figure I’m at least as qualified to list the top signs of a good relationship as a blogger who still puts his GPA on his Linked-In profile.
The other place that the article went wrong, of course, is that they forgot the most important thing: the quiz. Everyone knows that you have to have a quiz so people can classify their relationship in terms of which Disney Prince and Princess or Marvel superhero is a match. Since this is a relationship quiz, I went for the holy grail of modern relationship theory: Love Actually.
Due to my advanced age and tight-fisted refusal to go with the “professional” level blog that would allow posting one of those fancy FB quizzes, we’re going to have to do this the old-fashioned way—steal it from another website. That means, of course, that the quiz page will be chock full of adverts for other (clearly inferior) quizzes. I hope you can wade through invitations to compare IQ and penis length to stick to this one. And I hope even more that you’ll stop back here and let me know how you did. And how much the divorce cost…
CLICK HERE FOR QUIZ: WHICH LOVE ACTUALLY COUPLE IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
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Barb Taub 
We’ve married so long I’m sure you can tell us apart anymore. I loved the blog. It gave me another Monday smile.
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What fun and what laughs!
“You got John and Judy (body-doubles for porn movies)
Your friends believe that you have wildly exotic sex and an exciting lifestyle. Actually, though, you prefer to stay at home watching nature shows on public television.”
I don’t know John or Judy, so I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad, but it sounds fun. The statement is actually true. The rocket scientist’s AA group thinks we are a cute couple who have wild and crazy sex because we’re nudists. We spend much more time watching nature shows.
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Ha! I gott Colin (and Stacey and Jeannie and Carol-Anne and Harriet and Carla and…). I’m a man whore!
After living with the same gal, not married, for about 17 years I think we have a good relationship so far. Lots of sexy time too!
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You are a hoot! :D I tried doing the quiz but since I really don’t qualify, it didn’t turn out too good… Still no divorce decree in the very near future but there’s not a chance in you know where that my marriage of almost 25 years will work out so…I already knew my relationship sucked :D
Here’s to the lovely answer of “Please say sex. Please say sex. Please say sex.” LOL. I hope your readers are not offended…just edit me if they are. :) Thanks for the laughs!!! :D
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just too funny … and of course, my relationships sucks…there’s no doubt about it! I got the Colin (Stacey etc. too) ;-)
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