Tags
corona, coronavirus, covid, facemasks, humor, lockdown, lockdown humor, pandemic, quarantine, Superhero, superheroine
Writer/blogger Roberta Eaton Cheadle posted a blog hop challenge which—and this comes as a complete surprise to exactly nobody—I missed.
They’re making an action figure of you. Describe the toy and accessories. (Do you have a catch phrase? Favorite items, clothes, hair style?)
Here’s how I picture the Barb action figure:

Backstory: Barb spent decades as a mild-mannered writer and mom. Then came the global pandemic, triggering her secret identity as SuperBarb, able to survive months without human contact, leap tall buildings in a single bound to maintain social distance, and stock enough toilet paper to make it through the apocalypse. (Hairstyle is, obviously, a covid-cut.)
What can she do? Well, for sure she’s got superpowers.
She can single-handedly—like anyone’s going to help her—plan an entire week’s menus before putting in her grocery delivery order.
She knows who the good guys and bad guys are.
She rules the other superheroes with her trademark phrase: BECAUSE I’M THE SUPERMOM AND I SAY SO.

“If you can’t behave during the pandemic, World, I’ll send you to timeout for a year and a half.” [Image credit: New Orleans Living]

NOTE: Barb’s sidekicks, Kitchen Fairy and Bathroom Fairy, will not be available until after the pandemic. Which is a damn shame, because the Kitchen Fairy knows the magic spells passed down through the ages for producing food in pots and pans. And the Bathroom Fairy is the only one who knows how to get new rolls of toilet paper onto the spindle.
The SuperBarb action figure comes with coffee cup, Netflix subscription, and SuperDog Peri, who is the excuse for so many pandemic walks that she whimpers and tries to hide every time someone gets out that leash.
Batteries and accessories sold separately include the BarbCave—her fortress of isolation, fully stocked with enough toilet paper, wine, and chocolate to ride out the pandemic without having to risk contact by the murderous forces of evil seeking to destroy her those with poor mask skills.
WHAT DOES YOUR ACTION HERO LOOK LIKE?
Posts like this are the reason you’re one of the best bloggers out there, Barb. Thanks for a perfect start to my Thursday!
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What a nice thing to say! I wish I could use my superpowers to give you wine and chocolate. And toilet paper.
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No worries! I have a lifetime supply of each of those items. Do you by any chance have extra Xanax? I could use that because it really helps me maintain my Type B personality.
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No, sorry! I have to do it the old fashioned way—grab a bottle of local Chianti and ask the Hub to tell me about his latest research.
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LOL
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Oh Super Barb – you are fantastic. I’m still giggling. You are so inventive! How does your husband keep up?! Onwards and upwards…xx.
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The Hub and I have a deal. He doesn’t read my blog, and I don’t read his theoretical economics papers that seem to consist of Greek symbols and the sacred song of his people, “On the other hand…”
Oddly, we’re each convinced we came out best on that deal.
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This reply made me laugh out loud 🙂
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Sounds very intellectual, Barb! Although my Jewish husband is very bright, he’s retired so he is more concerned with how many goals Spurs scored this week…Keep up the good work- Hugs x
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Ha ha ha! This is brilliant! I can truly see you in the tights.
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Of course, at my age they are compression tights. Really thick ones…
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Brilliant.
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Thanks, Jemima! May the Force be with you (from 6-feet away, of course).
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Haha! Fantastic…you are super Barb 🦹♀️
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Thanks Cathy! You can borrow my spare cape whenever.
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Ok, you win! The best action hero yet. I want a Super Barb action figure and one for each of my friends. You sure know how to market!
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Don’t forget those accessories! I shudder to think of your action-Barb running short of the essentials: TP, booze, or chocolate.
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Oh, I’ll order all the accessories and outfits. Do you do PayPal?
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Sure. But I’d prefer tequila.
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Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
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I think we’re all a bit super-powered!
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Yep, I want to buy one and one for my sister and for her daughter who is having a baby at the beginning of next month and one for the baby and one for my son and all the accessories that come with the Super-Barb. And I promise not to take super-dog Peri on too many walks and to provide her with gourmet cheese on demand. And can you tell I’ve already been at the wine????
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Well…you ARE super-dog Peri’s favorite gourmet cheese provider.
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Hahaha. 😀 Great post!
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Thanks! What would your action figure be?
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Retired stormtrooper, probably. 😉
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You are super, Barb. So glad you have your old family recipe for boiling water… in times like these.
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Boiling water is the essential element of civilization! You never know when you’ll need to make tea or deliver a baby.
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Love it! You go girl!!
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Thanks so much. How do you see your action figure?
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There’s a super dog but no super cat? The dog at least needs a kitten sidekick!!
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The dog completely agrees! She was raised by two older cats, and really likes felines in general. But alas, while we can take Peri on our worldwide rambles, a cat wants only to do what it did the day before. Bopping back and forth on the ferry once a week wouldn’t be popular and we couldn’t leave the cat alone for so long. I do really miss having cats though. It would have been especially wonderful during the lockdown.
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You left out the superpower to make people smile who are continents away 🙂
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What would your action figure’s super power be?
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I love this! Way to go, Robbie.
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It was pretty fun! What would your action figure’s super power be?
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That’s a hard pick. I’d be Wonderful Woman, giving children resilience.
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Snap! You’ve already nailed it!
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Ta-Dah! 😀
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I wish I was as clever as you to do this amazing blog. I guess I need to step up my game. Working on it. Great post.
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