My book, Life Begins When The Kids Leave Home And The Dog Dies, is available FREE on Amazon for five days only, from May 1-5.
“…has anyone ever actually died laughing?”—CathyR for Between The Lines Book Reviews
“The off-the-wall snark’s all there.“—Terry Tyler, Author of Project Renova series
“Get this book and prepare to be entertained, you can thank me later.” —Georgia Rose, Author of The Grayson Trilogy
“This book needs to come with a warning: ‘Caution: Do Not Eat Or Drink While Reading This Book! You will spew food or liquid everywhere when you laugh out loud.’” —Kassandra Lamb, Author of Kate Huntingdon Mysteries
“This rollicking escapade had me in stitches one minute and pondering the next. I could see my own childhood through their eyes and I was touched.” —Author P E Read
This is the part where I thank my family, pets, friends, and total strangers for just being so hilarious I couldn’t help writing about you. And, while I’m eternally grateful to each of you—you know who you are!—there is another group who are far more responsible for this book. My readers. You are the generous, funny, responsive, humorous souls who’ve read, laughed, commented, occasionally snorted coffee over your monitor, and then read more. I wish I could give each of you a hug, but…well, there are laws about that sort of thing. So instead, here is your book. I hope you like it.
Chapter 1. A California girl named Barb met her prince of a guy. He was tall, dark, and handsome. (Actually, he was a Republican. But he was definitely tall.) They fell in love, and got married.
Chapter 2. He brought her to his castle in England and they lived happily ever after. THE END**
**Luckily, 35+ years of living happened between Chapters 1 and 2, giving Barb plenty of material for this collection (in no particular chronological order) from her newspaper columns, articles, blog posts, and that time she killed Mom.
And that’s before Chapter 3 even starts.
I have learned to put down the coffee and place breakable objects at a safe distance when a post from Barb Taub comes up. It is very hard to drink coffee and laugh at the same time without redecorating the desk…—author Sue Vincent
To all those who shared their wisdom with me: if I’d listened, what would I have to write about?
A priest, a minister and a rabbi were talking about when life begins. The priest said: “Life begins at conception.” The minister said: “Life begins when the fetus is viable.” The rabbi said: “Life begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies.”
While this joke has innumerable versions, this is the one Great-Uncle Herbie told when we got married. He and Great-Aunt Fanny also told us not to eat in restaurants with plants (they’re put there to hide something), not to give each other presents with handles, and especially not to not let our kids outnumber us.
This book documents results of breaking every one of Great-Uncle Herbie’s life rules. I like to think he would have approved.
I would love to hear what you think of this book!
If you have any comments,
restraining orders suggestions, and/or questions, please contact me.
If you could help me spread the word about this book by sharing on social media, or posting a rating on Amazon, I’d be eternally grateful. (Well, I’d be grateful at least until next week, which is about as far ahead as I can plan these days.)