“The first rule of time travel is that any and all modifications made to the timeline result in Hitler winning World War II. Run over a hippy in 1968? Hitler wins.
— colonel_green, ScansDaily”
So Candy fell deeply in love with the monkey and changed the ending to him eating all the planes and crushing all the military vehicles, after explaining to him that she couldn’t ever be with him because inter-species relationships were not allowed on Amazon.
After my (attempts) to be funny about international travel here, the subject of American tipping has come up several times. …
It’s not that I don’t plan my trips—I just don’t plan them very well. But unless you’ve enjoyed hearing about how my holidays tend to go “tits-up” (as they say here in Glasgow) and want to share in the fun, you will need the following top ten tips for making sure you have the trip of your dreams.
They just don’t get the Fourth of July here in the UK. Go figure. My friend Hamish invited me to join …
Step 1: Accept that you are not that special. This is the most difficult and important thing to accept if you wish to be a grown-up: You are not a Special Snowflake.
Not saying it’s been cold here, but the brass monkeys have been begging for welders…
If you rang our doorbell at dinner time and you were a cousin, knew a cousin, or correctly guessed the partial name of a cousin, you were brought in, another plate was jammed into the dozen already set up, and you got the first serving of pot roast.
Father’s Day is coming, but you probably already have his present wrapped and ready, right? Me either… I’m not saying …
One of the things that we had to learn when we moved to the UK was the British-Wave. Americans know the proper way to drive is to get there ahead of everyone else at all costs. If you let them cut in front of you, they will own your manhood and, probably, your car and wife as well. So you expect Americans driving in the UK to not only back-the-f-up when facing another driver, but actually smile and wave? That’s like expecting the Queen to put on a bikini and serve ice-cream to paparazzi. It’s both physically possible and virtually inconceivable.
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