Tags
balls, costumes, Daisy Duck, Donald Duck, Easter, Easter Bunny, humor, Joseph Kony, kids, Madison Avenue, parenting, peep diorama, peeps, Santa, Virginia
Time to be afraid again, Easter Peeps.
At the bottom of this annual Easter reblog is possibly the single creepiest photo on the web. (And that includes the Alien Peeps below and this one of The Donald that you just HAVE to go and spin 360-degrees.) Happy Easter!

Even Daniel Spiess’ alien peeps aren’t as disturbing as that picture down at the bottom of this post.
I committed an Easter crime once. I was persuaded to dress up in a bunny costume for my daughter’s preschool class. The teacher opened the door and in I teetered, six-plus feet (counting the ears) of Easter excitement. For about a nanosecond, there was total silence while I held up my basket of plastic eggs. Then eighteen mouths were screaming for eighteen mothers, thirty-six eyes were filling with tears, and seventy-two tiny arms and legs were churning toward the door. We’re not even going to discuss what happened in eighteen little pairs of undies as I single-handedly drove the roomful of preschoolers ballistic with terror.
Maybe if that whole child-soldier/ kidnapping/ warlord gig doesn’t work out for him, Joseph Kony could find fulfillment dressing up as a giant bunny and appearing before unsuspecting preschoolers.
Looking back, I realize that if I’d gone into work one day to find an eleven-foot tall rabbit heading for me – with no prior memo announcing, “At 10:15AM today, staff will be terrorized by long-eared rodents twice your size,” – I would probably not have been nearly as nice about it as those preschoolers. After all, not one of them pressed charges or pulled a weapon even though it was hunting season. In SW Virginia. I’m just lucky I didn’t end up on the hood of someone’s car, tied down next to Bambi.
It’s not as if I didn’t know better. My kids have an unbroken string of bad experiences with costume-clad adults. The first time we did the Mouse, Donald Duck waddled up to us. He was reaching out to Child #2 when she hauled off and planted him a solid one straight to his – duckness. As I hustled the kids out of there, I noticed Daisy Duck was trying to help him up despite quacking up herself. (I’d apologize, but come on – you knew that was coming…)
Then there was the time we were in the grocery store. My four-year-old was busy analyzing the relative merits of the candy lining the checkout lane when he was accosted by a cookie-promoting elf whose head alone was at least as tall as my son. (The concept of selling cookies using a supersized elf head is yet another reflection of the extent of the drug problem on Madison Avenue.) The elf, who seemed directionally challenged, was being guided by a handler. “How would you like to meet the elf?” the handler asked my son.
“NO!” he screamed, racing for the exit and knocking down everything in his path. “NO, no, no, no…”
“How would you like to pay for the years of therapy we’re both going to need?” I asked the elf as I gave chase.
The fact is there is no real upside to costumed adults confronting my children. Take the time I brought Child #1 to see Santa in his mall chalet surrounded by several camera-waving teenaged helper elves. My daughter didn’t want anything to do with the whole setup, so she tried to escape as the elves herded her toward Santa. As he leaned down to her, she grabbed the pompoms on the end of his hat and started to pull back. One of Santa’s Helpers screamed, “She’s pulling Santa’s little balls off!” We never did get a photo of the event, because Santa had to go feed his reindeer immediately.
Ready? Brace yourselves. Here it comes. The creepiest Easter photo on the web.
Thanks for the Easter giggle!! Not sure why grown-ups think children would be delighted to see them in costume. I dressed up as a glow in the dark skeleton for my daughter’s Halloween party at our house. One child called her mom to come and get her and another screamed when I came near her, especially in the dark.
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Frankly, I think I’d scream too. But at least you looked a LOT cooler than my bunny-torture getup.
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I have never understood why people think these are funny…
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Believe me, I’m really REALLY sorry and I promise never to do it again.
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You don’t have to go to the naughty corner on my behalf, Barb. Most people seem to love them!
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Yes, that’s scary.
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I know, right?
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hahaha . OMW . (Oh My Word!!!) . I was just in tears reading another blog about death and now I’m crying harder from laughter! I remember reading this last year and I am SO glad you reminded us again. I’m not sure if your kids need therapy or you need to be committed! hahaha . Just keep your access to a computer.
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I feel pretty lucky none of those preschoolers pressed charges. But probably just as well that I left the country…
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This is why we never ventured across the Atlantic to Disneyland! By the time Eurodisney arrived outside Paris ( without the requisite sunshine ) our children were in senior school and old enough to withstand the terrors of giant mice when they went on school trips!
But a similar crime was inflicted on the playgroup I used to help at when our young community police constable ( normally excellent with the children ) decided to come dressed as PC Payphone – picture a six foot black replica of the original hefty mobile phones…
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A scary-giant mobile phone? That sounds like a plot from the worst horror movie ever. (I’m sleeping with the lights on tonight, thank you very much.)
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Tried to re-blog this amazing post, but it wouldn’t let me 😦
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So sorry… I think WordPress was intimidated by the stunt-bunnies union.
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Reblogged this on lucinda E Clarke.
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Woohoo! You went face-to-face with WP and emerged victorious. I salute you.
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Yes, it did!
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Sean Spicer was once the White House Easter Bunny. ‘Nough said.
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Yikes! I may never eat another jelly bean…
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I have never dressed up as anything but a fairy and, apparently, I achieve the fairy look without trying although my Grade 8 teacher said I was an angel with black wings and a rusty halo.
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How cool are black wings and a rusty halo? I’d stick with that look.
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There are no words . . . Ewe are always the funniest person (? – are you sure you are not some kind of elflin?) online. Ewe need to become a stand-up comic! You would have them rolling in the aisles. I am not a big Easter fan, but the scariest Easter was when I stopped getting chocolate bunnies!!!
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No more chocolate bunnies? I weep for you.
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I’ve never been a fan of clowns, mimes or anyone else who wears a mask of any kind. Really don’t like it.
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Clowns are the devil. SERIOUSLY evil. [shudders]
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Hilarious!
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OMC, wtf is that at the bottom??? Why would you do that to a child?? Clowns are just… NO.
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It’s a sick world out there.
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The image of you having been hunted and tied to the hood of a car?
A PROPER EASTER BONNET!
(I’ll just get my coat…….) 😉
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Ouch…pun.
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