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My Life…

My sister said she would be late for our scheduled video chat this morning, so I thought there would be plenty of time to wash my hair and still grab that first cup of coffee before our call. When will I learn?

I had just poured shampoo and lathered up when all hell broke loose. The dog was screaming, the cats were yelling, and it sounded like there was a riot going on downstairs.

I turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and raced downstairs to see that the cats were having a fabulous time. One was chasing the rodent they’d brought inside, crashing into furniture and knocking over everything in his path. The other was simply sitting in the middle of the room and LOOKING at the dog.

Meanwhile the poor dog was desperate to run upstairs to tattle on the cats, but clearly terrified of the tiny furry bundle of sharp bits. When she saw me, the dog bravely ran to the corner of the room, slinking under furniture until she was safely behind me.

This wasn’t our first rodent rodeo, so we keep a rescue kit on hand (plastic bowl with stiff cardboard that doubles as scoop and lid). Given my amount of recent practice, it only took a moment to bowl up the rodent. The cats complained bitterly as I shut them into the laundry room so they couldn’t see where I was taking their great new toy.

Some things nobody needs to see.

With congealing sudsy lather slithering down my face and into my eyes, I dropped the towel and shrugged my wet naked self into my raincoat with the broken zipper. The vole and I headed uphill to a small stand of trees, as my hair dripped. I clutched the raincoat closed with one hand, tried to keep the cardboard lid over the bowl with the other,  and prayed none of the neighbors would happen to look outside to see my impression of a flasher wannabe. I released the vole, who seemed unfazed by its near-death experience and wandered nonchalantly off. Somehow, I have a feeling that vole and I will meet again.

Not my vole. I was too busy keeping my raincoat closed so I wouldn’t have to move away from the island (and possibly Scotland as well) to stop for a selfie with the vole. [Image by Jarmo Saarinen from Pixabay ]

Returning home, I headed back to the bathroom to start again on the hair washing,while all three pets sat outside, scratching on the bathroom door and demanding to know what I was getting up to in there.

And the worst part? This all occurred before I had my first cup of coffee.

Finally, I made it to the video chat, many minutes late. “So,” my sister asked, “How is your day going?”

“Oh you know. ” I sipped my coffee. “The usual.”