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I got 1 point. (But I’m SO going to get that tattoo!)

This adaptation of the old drinking game has been making the rounds. Instead of shots, you just give yourself a point for each thing you have NEVER ever done. (And no, you don’t get to take off extra points for the things you’ve done multiple times. Even giving birth.)

How did you do on the quiz?

Thing is, this doesn’t have any of the REALLY tough stuff. Who can say “Never have I ever…”

  • Told my teenager they can only go to that party if I first meet the parent who will be remaining on site for the entire event. Told myself it’s okay if said teenager never speaks to me again. Peaceful, even…
  • Quit my job when I didn’t have another one.
  • Found a hospital in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language. Got treated there.
  • Mixed stripes and plaids. In public.
  • Let my kids make their own mistakes even though I know perfectly well what’s going to happen. And never have I ever said, “I told you so” when it did.
  • Changed a flat on a deserted road even though some asswipe has power-tightened the lugs. And then didn’t go back and tell said asswipe just what he could tighten with that power tool…
  • Spoken to immediate family member(s) again, even though they voted for that waste-of-oxygen in the last election. Eventually spoke to them again. Maybe. WTF. Who needs that point?

My friend Mary Anne OToole asked: “And what about points for things like..

  • Been robbed
  • Had a gun pointed at you
  • Escaped a fire
  • Spent a few hours on the floor with your lights out during a riot

(But she’s from Chicago, so she plays at pro-level.)

What are the Never-have-I-evers you could take points off for?

So…What tattoo should I get? And no—you don’t get to vote for where.