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Arthur Conan Doyle, Barack Obama, Bolton Castle, England, horsemeat, humor, republican, Sherlock Holmes, United States, Washington Monument

The good news: scientific research teams have isolated unicorn DNA. The bad news: they found it in British supermarket products labelled as beef.
Some have wondered why people here in England are so upset about the possibility that their food contains horsemeat. The English have no problem eating cow, chicken, lamb – usually with some form of pig in/on each of them. One theory is that horses, like dogs, are companion animals and you wouldn’t eat your Mr. Snookums. Another is that the horse has a long history as a transportation provider, and you wouldn’t eat your Prius.
But let’s face it – the nation which is home to the ever-popular chip butty (basically, a supersized bunfull of fries), spotted dick (not what it sounds like), blood pudding (just what it sounds like), and haggis (trust me, you don’t want to know), is not squeamish.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” Sherlock Holmes/Arthur Conan Doyle.
I think the actual truth is that they’re saving the horses for an emergency. I realized this last week when we toured Yorkshire’s Bolton Castle. The current owners of Bolton Castle trace their family back to Sir Richard Scropes, builder of the original castle in 1378. Because Reality TV hadn’t been invented yet, medieval English entertainment consisted of surviving the Black Death and choosing which political team to support. Stakes were high. (As perspective, if the US followed the medieval leader-selection trope, Barak Obama would become president by murdering his close relative, George Bush. He would then imprison the leaders of the Republican Party in the Washington Monument, behead the CEO of the NRA, accuse the Chairman of the Federal Reserve of being a witch, and either burn the houses of every Republican in congress, or arrange marriages between their minor children and highly-placed members of his party.)
Overall, Sir Scropes’ descendants have been pretty good at picking the winning team, if you don’t count the times a rejected king burned down the castle. Or all the beheadings. But a true low point came during the Civil War in 1644 when the young owner of the castle signed with Team King. The Parliamentarians promptly laid siege to the castle for the next six months. How did Bolton resist for so long? You guessed it. When starvation loomed, they ate every horse in the place.
Can’t imagine Liz saying to Phil, “Cook us up a Corgi, will you, pet. Feeling a tad peckish.” But I suppose if circumstances warranted. And I doubt Phil has ever cooked anything.
Entertaining post, Barb, as usual. Really appreciate the comparison of British and America politics. Puts it all into perspective.
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Thanks Amanda! (Actually I think the statement, “Time to cook the dogs and horses…” really puts political adverts in perspective…)
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Delightful Barb, you do indeed have a gift. The bringer of joyful laughter and because it’s impossible to think and laugh at the same time you accomplish in an instant what many spiritual gurus can’t teach in a lifetime.
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Have these people ever heard of beans for protein? Funny post.
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Ah…true humor at it’s highest…though I think if one isn’t careful the Republicans might pick up on some of the better of Sir Scropes’ methods, nothing like a bit of political tradition for the neo-conservatives…I’m happy to see that there is a practical reason for the British not eating horse meat…about the same reason why the Italians don’t eat cat…except in an emergency of course.
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Congratulations – you’ve been nominated for a Liebster award! To find out more go to http://theimaginator.wordpress.com/2013/03/11/i-got-a-liebster-award/
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I’m just glad that they’re saving the horses and puppies for last…
I enjoyed this, especially the part comparing medieval leader-selection to American politics.
I have a slightly eccentric friend who is so violently anti-Obama that she collects and sends me hundreds of emails about him. She’s still convinced that he’s not an American citizen, and so on and on and on…
She’s on email lists demanding more protection for Bush, political freedom for the Republican leaders… If she reads your post, it’s going to give her more ideas about how he became president, and she already believes he’s trying to establish a monarchy/dictatorship.
Fun post. And a really gruesome picture.
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Ewww…and now I know why we never see English food cook books.
Chip butty, spotted dick, blood pudding, and haggis? Whatever happened to English fish and chips?
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You’ll be happy to hear that fish & chips are alive and well. If you visit, I’ll take you to our local shop, The Codfather. (We will then go straight to the hospital in time for your cardiac event…)
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