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monkey-typewriterA well-meaning friend just sent me another breathless article about the business of writing. All I can say is, I’ve been in business and it would look a lot different if other professions took the same approach as writers:


im a lawyer

Lawyer: “I’m not actually charging my clients because I’m building my reputation. Someday I’ll be famous and they’ll all pay.”


Dentist: “I’m doing a blog tour, and you can enter my rafflecopter giveaway for a free root canal if you send a tweet, leave a comment, and add your email to my mailing list.”


Broker: “I’m sending out free shares in hopes that people give them good reviews on Goodreads.”


Chef: “If I charge more than the food truck, nobody will buy my next dish. I’ll get a day job at Chez Mac’s so I can keep giving my gourmet dishes away.”


Banker: “I think I’ll just work at home, alone, second-guessing all my decisions while I whine about getting lenders-block.”


Human Resources: “Instead of a salary, we’ll pay people a small advance against future profits. Then they’ll get paid in royalties. If they actually sell enough to pay back that advance, that is. And there will be at least a year’s delay before the payments start, of course.”


Gynecologist: “The first ten people who ‘like’ me on Facebook get a free pelvic exam.”